I am addicted to making bad movies now. This is a photofilm set to Enya - it shows the good side of the Upper Peninsula.....
10 April 2007
01 April 2007
01 March 2007
March Fools....
This isn't much of a blog.....all I did was just copy the list of "top stories" from CNN's main page. Is it just me, or does at least 2/3 of this list read as some sort of April Fool's joke? Can our news really be getting this insane? Just read it through and tell me if I'm wrong.
- U.S.: No direct talks with Syria, Iran
- McCain confirms '08 run | Video
| Contenders
- Court clears way for Smith's Bahamas burial
- New arrest in trans-Atlantic airline bomb plot
- Toxic chemicals spill into Ohio River
- Gay vet wants others to serve openly
- Photos show laughing young women robbing bank
- 5 kids die in icy pond, Scriptures in laps
- Dad reunited with son lost in market years ago
- City official faces firing over sex change plan
- Woman still sober so judge cartwheels in court
- Hostage swapped for cigarettes at smoke-free jail
- CNN Wire: Latest updates on world's top stories
19 February 2007
Metropoliplex
First of all, heed this warning:
Lead amount in lunchbags unsafe; feds didn't tell
Hurry - warn your kids - tell them "DO NOT EAT YOUR LUNCH BAG!!!"
I was in Marquette yesterday, on a last-second emergency trip which turned out well (I won't go into it - let's just say it was an "intervention.") Before my disastrous move to Iowa and then my return to what I consider a much more dismal part of the UP, I lived in Marquette for almost ten years. Since leaving shortly after the new year in 2001, I think I have probably been up there a total of 4 times.
When I left, I had mixed feelings - I loved the town in many ways, hated it in others, and had a love/hate relationship with the weather. Plus I was technically living in Negaunee, which is 8 miles from Marquette and, to put it bluntly, is NOTHING like Marquette. When the Iowa experience turned sour, my first instinct was that I would return to Marquette, having so much familiarity with it and also a few friends still hiding here and there. But due to monetary reasons, I ended up shacking up here, in a part of the UP that I can only describe as "midieival" (my apologies to some of you, who should agree with me anyway) and have since not left.
It is a funny place to live, the Upper Peninsula. I have been up here so long now that, when I venture into any city larger than a football field, I feel like I've wandered into the future, and that everyone is staring at my ignorance. Even Green Bay, which is 90 miles to the south, overwhelms me - I get overstimulated by the fact that there are more car dealerships than cars on the road. There are more restaurants on a single block than in the entire town of Iron Mountain. Seriously, Green Bay would seem small to any real city-dweller, yet there is enough shopping to supply every person in Africa with a pair of muffin-top jeans and a complete media center, with plenty of Starbucks coffee and Krispy Kremes to keep them chipper and non-starving.
You can imagine how I feel in Chicago. There are two things in Chicago that interest me - Ikea and Whole Foods - and nothing else. Seriously, it's mesmerizing and awe-inspiring to drive into the city, or any city like that, but by the time I leave I basically have post-traumatic stress disorder.
I didn't used to be that way - I've been to many cities, on two continents, and have had great times. But when you spend a little too long in Dickinson County, Michigan, with its total population of 27,000, and Walmart as its largest employer, you get, well, sheltered.
Anyway, my point. Marquette is sheltered too; in fact, it is a half-day's journey just to get to Green Bay. But for some reason, it thrives in a way that no other town in the entire UP does. It is bustling with little wisps of progress in every corner, all arriving in a more tasteful manner than in most large cities, where they just erect another mile of concrete on the outskirts for the newest menagerie of sub shops and megastores. And Marquette exists in a natural setting that is just so incredibly beautiful, it makes you forget that you are almost 200 miles from the closest interstate highway.
When I drive into Marquette, I feel like I never left, and yet there are always surprises - Marquette has now gone through the Starbucks Revolution, and is starting to realise its tourist potential. Driving through the perfectly preserved downtown area on a saturday evening, I saw people out everywhere, walking back and forth to real bars that have real music and live performers. In this area where I live, the bars have names like "the Whuh Bar" and "Who's Next" and the choice of live music is limited to about a total of 5 bands, their music stylings being a choice between eighties-hair or country. There is karaoke, but nobody that can sing, and the smell of urine is hard to distinguish from the smell of the cheap beer.
Anyway, every time I visit Marquette I remember it fondly for a few days after. If I really sat back and thought about all the miserable times I had there; or about the winter that I shovelled a total of 300 inches of snow that fell nonstop, just so I could park my car in the front yard; I would probably remind myself why I somehow haven't ended back up there. While it's beautiful in the summer and always enjoyable for a visit, Marquette has the same problems as the whole UP - horrible winters, seasonal affective disorder, and isolation. I remember meeting people in Marquette who had never left the UP - one lady was in her 20s and had never seen a real escalator before.
So while I've been pondering getting out of this town and finding somewhere else to settle and attempt to thrive, Marquette has popped to mind on occasion. But as much as I love it, it's just not a total change, which is what I need. And there's always a funny feeling when leaving a place behind and then returning months or years later - you feel like while you were gone, life went on and you were sort of replaced, and there's no niche for you anymore.
Anyway, when I was returning home and stopped in Iron Mountain at the only gas station open at 3am for a much-needed pee break, I noticed the clerk was having some sort of interesting conversation with a lingering customer. When I went to the counter to pay for a pop, the clerk interrupted their conversation and said to me,
"We were debating where a good place to live would be - basically any place but here we decided!" and then he laughed. And I laughed, said nothing, and left.
Lead amount in lunchbags unsafe; feds didn't tell
Hurry - warn your kids - tell them "DO NOT EAT YOUR LUNCH BAG!!!"
I was in Marquette yesterday, on a last-second emergency trip which turned out well (I won't go into it - let's just say it was an "intervention.") Before my disastrous move to Iowa and then my return to what I consider a much more dismal part of the UP, I lived in Marquette for almost ten years. Since leaving shortly after the new year in 2001, I think I have probably been up there a total of 4 times.
When I left, I had mixed feelings - I loved the town in many ways, hated it in others, and had a love/hate relationship with the weather. Plus I was technically living in Negaunee, which is 8 miles from Marquette and, to put it bluntly, is NOTHING like Marquette. When the Iowa experience turned sour, my first instinct was that I would return to Marquette, having so much familiarity with it and also a few friends still hiding here and there. But due to monetary reasons, I ended up shacking up here, in a part of the UP that I can only describe as "midieival" (my apologies to some of you, who should agree with me anyway) and have since not left.
It is a funny place to live, the Upper Peninsula. I have been up here so long now that, when I venture into any city larger than a football field, I feel like I've wandered into the future, and that everyone is staring at my ignorance. Even Green Bay, which is 90 miles to the south, overwhelms me - I get overstimulated by the fact that there are more car dealerships than cars on the road. There are more restaurants on a single block than in the entire town of Iron Mountain. Seriously, Green Bay would seem small to any real city-dweller, yet there is enough shopping to supply every person in Africa with a pair of muffin-top jeans and a complete media center, with plenty of Starbucks coffee and Krispy Kremes to keep them chipper and non-starving.
You can imagine how I feel in Chicago. There are two things in Chicago that interest me - Ikea and Whole Foods - and nothing else. Seriously, it's mesmerizing and awe-inspiring to drive into the city, or any city like that, but by the time I leave I basically have post-traumatic stress disorder.
I didn't used to be that way - I've been to many cities, on two continents, and have had great times. But when you spend a little too long in Dickinson County, Michigan, with its total population of 27,000, and Walmart as its largest employer, you get, well, sheltered.
Anyway, my point. Marquette is sheltered too; in fact, it is a half-day's journey just to get to Green Bay. But for some reason, it thrives in a way that no other town in the entire UP does. It is bustling with little wisps of progress in every corner, all arriving in a more tasteful manner than in most large cities, where they just erect another mile of concrete on the outskirts for the newest menagerie of sub shops and megastores. And Marquette exists in a natural setting that is just so incredibly beautiful, it makes you forget that you are almost 200 miles from the closest interstate highway.
When I drive into Marquette, I feel like I never left, and yet there are always surprises - Marquette has now gone through the Starbucks Revolution, and is starting to realise its tourist potential. Driving through the perfectly preserved downtown area on a saturday evening, I saw people out everywhere, walking back and forth to real bars that have real music and live performers. In this area where I live, the bars have names like "the Whuh Bar" and "Who's Next" and the choice of live music is limited to about a total of 5 bands, their music stylings being a choice between eighties-hair or country. There is karaoke, but nobody that can sing, and the smell of urine is hard to distinguish from the smell of the cheap beer.
Anyway, every time I visit Marquette I remember it fondly for a few days after. If I really sat back and thought about all the miserable times I had there; or about the winter that I shovelled a total of 300 inches of snow that fell nonstop, just so I could park my car in the front yard; I would probably remind myself why I somehow haven't ended back up there. While it's beautiful in the summer and always enjoyable for a visit, Marquette has the same problems as the whole UP - horrible winters, seasonal affective disorder, and isolation. I remember meeting people in Marquette who had never left the UP - one lady was in her 20s and had never seen a real escalator before.
So while I've been pondering getting out of this town and finding somewhere else to settle and attempt to thrive, Marquette has popped to mind on occasion. But as much as I love it, it's just not a total change, which is what I need. And there's always a funny feeling when leaving a place behind and then returning months or years later - you feel like while you were gone, life went on and you were sort of replaced, and there's no niche for you anymore.
Anyway, when I was returning home and stopped in Iron Mountain at the only gas station open at 3am for a much-needed pee break, I noticed the clerk was having some sort of interesting conversation with a lingering customer. When I went to the counter to pay for a pop, the clerk interrupted their conversation and said to me,
"We were debating where a good place to live would be - basically any place but here we decided!" and then he laughed. And I laughed, said nothing, and left.
16 February 2007
A Stab at something.
I was chastised by someone today for not writing any blogs recently. After much thought, consisting of at least 3 minute of pondering what even to write about, I though....what the hell.
The problem with writing a blog in the middle of February in the middle of the Upper Peninsula in the middle of winter, is that there is not much to write about. The thing on most people's minds around here always seems to be something dependent on the weather, which is rotten.
I have friends who live outside of the midwest, and many friends who lived in this crook of the north and moved on to other places; so they experienced the weather but remember it only in visuals of snow-laden trees and frozen lakes. Pretty, hey? But as I was discussing with my friend Will the other day, who lives in Ontario, there is a very large part of north america that is less-sparsely populated than most, and is, to be blunt, fucking cold in the winter. Granted we have nice warm summers; but for some reason we get punished for them for the other 2/3 of the year.
For the last 2 weeks, it has been colder here than what most of the people of the world ever experience - we have a continental climate that really only exists here and in Canada; and in Siberia. That's no joke. The temperature has not been above the freezing point here for at least a month now, and often dips way below the 0 mark at night (for those of you who use celsius - that is -18.) And it doesn't stop there - temperatures of -15 and lower aren't unusual, and daytime highs hovering around the zero point (fahrenheit) are pretty commonplace.
I speak to many people who say things such as "you are so lucky - I wish we had snow" or "I just love snow" or some dipshit thing like that. Most of those people live somewhere where there IS snow, but in fleeting periods of the season. Snow one day, gone the next. An occasional large storm, then a week later it's gone. It doesn't work that way here. Once we get snow, we have snow for a LONG time. This year was freakish in that it didn't snow until after the first of the year; and that is freakish in a most freakish way, because usually we have a permanent snow cover by December; earlier at times even. When most people in the world are starting to clean their flower beds and plant bulbs, we are still shovelling off the ends of our driveways after the plows go past and block our cars in. Occasionally a nice warm March will melt most of our snowcover, but then Karl Bohnak, the regional TV-6 monarch of all things meteorology and a walking Skeltor, decides that we need a foot of snow on the 15th of April. I truly think he is the devil and has magical powers over the well-being of his U.P. subjects. Because no matter what, his forecasts are always more grim than any other weather report I look at.
So to sum that up, winter here just sucks. Say what you want - "oh I just love to ski" or "I like the snow because it's so pretty." There are people here that say such things. They are idiots. And sometimes days after they say such heretic remarks, they are commited with Seasonal Affective Disorder.
If you live here, and you hold a job, there is no relief. Either you must brave the frigid temperatures at daybreak, or you leave work in their grip at night. Believe me, when you walk outside and it's -10 degrees farenheit, or roughly -23c, it fucking HURTS. The cold instantly runs up your pant legs, bites at your face like a rabid cat, and blows up under your coat. Unless you bundle in NASA-made spacesuits, there is really no way to completely escape the hurtful terror of a cold UP morning or evening.
Aside from the crazy jaunts out into the winter fauna, there is also such wondrous things as cars that don't start; draftiness in the house (and this house is like living inside a box fan); shoveling snow, and driving on "winter death roads." And those roads are riddled with deer who are just happy as sugar beets to be out in the frigid temperatures, so they decide to take lovely evening walks on the highways. Makes for a lovely ride home.
My daily routine involves checking the weather online at least five times, because I always hope for the miraculous chance that the winds have shifted, and instead of getting the frigid beastly winds that Alberta and Sasketchewan like to waft upon us (and those winds should have to get passports, same as everyone else does now) we get a nice fresh breeze of mild warmth from the south, which usually means a balmy day of temperatures hovering around the freezing point. It you think I'm kidding when I use the word "balmy" to describe a day like that, you are wrong - because after dealing with days on end of temperatures that could cause instant skin-freeze, 32 degrees is like hopping naked from the freezer into a warm house.
So yeah, I hate the weather. Does that make me horrid? Does the fact that I am not a native mean that I shouldn't have an opinion on this matter? If so, then please let me know. If you live up here and find what I have written morbidly disgusting, then please tell me how I'm wrong.
Aside from that, let's get happy for a while! Yay for happy stories!
Anna Nicole Smith is dead. No, wait a minute, that's not happy! For anyone that thought of her as nothing but trash who lived off the fortunes and misfortunes of others, I totally agree. But her only child died days after she gave birth to her second child. And apparently, she was so sluttish that she had multiple men claiming fatherhood to her son. AND, she had to deal with the fact that she was so dopey acting! But as annoying as these sort of celebrities are to me, it still makes me sad to see them die, especially in such tragic circumstances.
Foes fight over Anna Nicole Smith body
What? Is she Eva Peron now? She died, tragic. But she sold trimspa and made a horrible tv show.
Homeless woman set ablaze, killed
Apparently two guys decided that she didn't deserve to live, after she reported one of them for robbing her. It makes sense - I mean, who likes to be narked on? And maybe they were cold. No wait - that's California. Okay, I have to stop reading because it makes me ill to think of such cruelty.
Britney needs intervention, industry folk say
It's a video link, so don't bother, because CNN is still in the stone ages with their video feeds, so unless you want to spend fifteen minutes watching a 3-minute video...anyway, who just decided this? I think they should have intervened when Britney took the mouse ears off. Her first album probably tops the list of albums that were scorned by nearly every critic, and yet people used the heretic expression "the next Madonna" to describe her. Seriously, have you ever analysed her singing voice? To me, it sounds like a cross between Thelma Harper on "Mama's Family" and Carol Burnett as Miss Hannigan in "Annie." Except they didn't do anything more offensive than mistreat little orphan girls or make fun of Naomi.
Officials: Woman, 84, confesses to sex with boy, 11
I can only make one comment on this one - I hope there's not a video.
Couple who caged kids get 2-year sentence
Umm, that's not something they learned on that nanny show, is it?
Kenny Chesney: I'm not gay
That should be the least of his concerns. I hope he is seeing a psychiatrist who is helping him to try taking the hat off. Come on Kenny - I don't like going bald either. But let it breathe for christ's sake!
Kansas changes course on evolution
Apparently they have changed course 5 times in the last few years. What bothers me most is that the decisions are all made by a 10 member "State Board of Education." Ten people decide the curriculum for an entire state? Does that qualify as democratic?
Man killed after table leg attack on strangers
Were they making fun of his table leg? Oh dear.
Okay, so at least in the droll, cold days of winter, at least we still have the shocking entertainment value of American News.
The problem with writing a blog in the middle of February in the middle of the Upper Peninsula in the middle of winter, is that there is not much to write about. The thing on most people's minds around here always seems to be something dependent on the weather, which is rotten.
I have friends who live outside of the midwest, and many friends who lived in this crook of the north and moved on to other places; so they experienced the weather but remember it only in visuals of snow-laden trees and frozen lakes. Pretty, hey? But as I was discussing with my friend Will the other day, who lives in Ontario, there is a very large part of north america that is less-sparsely populated than most, and is, to be blunt, fucking cold in the winter. Granted we have nice warm summers; but for some reason we get punished for them for the other 2/3 of the year.
For the last 2 weeks, it has been colder here than what most of the people of the world ever experience - we have a continental climate that really only exists here and in Canada; and in Siberia. That's no joke. The temperature has not been above the freezing point here for at least a month now, and often dips way below the 0 mark at night (for those of you who use celsius - that is -18.) And it doesn't stop there - temperatures of -15 and lower aren't unusual, and daytime highs hovering around the zero point (fahrenheit) are pretty commonplace.
I speak to many people who say things such as "you are so lucky - I wish we had snow" or "I just love snow" or some dipshit thing like that. Most of those people live somewhere where there IS snow, but in fleeting periods of the season. Snow one day, gone the next. An occasional large storm, then a week later it's gone. It doesn't work that way here. Once we get snow, we have snow for a LONG time. This year was freakish in that it didn't snow until after the first of the year; and that is freakish in a most freakish way, because usually we have a permanent snow cover by December; earlier at times even. When most people in the world are starting to clean their flower beds and plant bulbs, we are still shovelling off the ends of our driveways after the plows go past and block our cars in. Occasionally a nice warm March will melt most of our snowcover, but then Karl Bohnak, the regional TV-6 monarch of all things meteorology and a walking Skeltor, decides that we need a foot of snow on the 15th of April. I truly think he is the devil and has magical powers over the well-being of his U.P. subjects. Because no matter what, his forecasts are always more grim than any other weather report I look at.
So to sum that up, winter here just sucks. Say what you want - "oh I just love to ski" or "I like the snow because it's so pretty." There are people here that say such things. They are idiots. And sometimes days after they say such heretic remarks, they are commited with Seasonal Affective Disorder.
If you live here, and you hold a job, there is no relief. Either you must brave the frigid temperatures at daybreak, or you leave work in their grip at night. Believe me, when you walk outside and it's -10 degrees farenheit, or roughly -23c, it fucking HURTS. The cold instantly runs up your pant legs, bites at your face like a rabid cat, and blows up under your coat. Unless you bundle in NASA-made spacesuits, there is really no way to completely escape the hurtful terror of a cold UP morning or evening.
Aside from the crazy jaunts out into the winter fauna, there is also such wondrous things as cars that don't start; draftiness in the house (and this house is like living inside a box fan); shoveling snow, and driving on "winter death roads." And those roads are riddled with deer who are just happy as sugar beets to be out in the frigid temperatures, so they decide to take lovely evening walks on the highways. Makes for a lovely ride home.
My daily routine involves checking the weather online at least five times, because I always hope for the miraculous chance that the winds have shifted, and instead of getting the frigid beastly winds that Alberta and Sasketchewan like to waft upon us (and those winds should have to get passports, same as everyone else does now) we get a nice fresh breeze of mild warmth from the south, which usually means a balmy day of temperatures hovering around the freezing point. It you think I'm kidding when I use the word "balmy" to describe a day like that, you are wrong - because after dealing with days on end of temperatures that could cause instant skin-freeze, 32 degrees is like hopping naked from the freezer into a warm house.
So yeah, I hate the weather. Does that make me horrid? Does the fact that I am not a native mean that I shouldn't have an opinion on this matter? If so, then please let me know. If you live up here and find what I have written morbidly disgusting, then please tell me how I'm wrong.
Aside from that, let's get happy for a while! Yay for happy stories!
Anna Nicole Smith is dead. No, wait a minute, that's not happy! For anyone that thought of her as nothing but trash who lived off the fortunes and misfortunes of others, I totally agree. But her only child died days after she gave birth to her second child. And apparently, she was so sluttish that she had multiple men claiming fatherhood to her son. AND, she had to deal with the fact that she was so dopey acting! But as annoying as these sort of celebrities are to me, it still makes me sad to see them die, especially in such tragic circumstances.
Foes fight over Anna Nicole Smith body
What? Is she Eva Peron now? She died, tragic. But she sold trimspa and made a horrible tv show.
Homeless woman set ablaze, killed
Apparently two guys decided that she didn't deserve to live, after she reported one of them for robbing her. It makes sense - I mean, who likes to be narked on? And maybe they were cold. No wait - that's California. Okay, I have to stop reading because it makes me ill to think of such cruelty.
Britney needs intervention, industry folk say
It's a video link, so don't bother, because CNN is still in the stone ages with their video feeds, so unless you want to spend fifteen minutes watching a 3-minute video...anyway, who just decided this? I think they should have intervened when Britney took the mouse ears off. Her first album probably tops the list of albums that were scorned by nearly every critic, and yet people used the heretic expression "the next Madonna" to describe her. Seriously, have you ever analysed her singing voice? To me, it sounds like a cross between Thelma Harper on "Mama's Family" and Carol Burnett as Miss Hannigan in "Annie." Except they didn't do anything more offensive than mistreat little orphan girls or make fun of Naomi.
Officials: Woman, 84, confesses to sex with boy, 11
I can only make one comment on this one - I hope there's not a video.
Couple who caged kids get 2-year sentence
Umm, that's not something they learned on that nanny show, is it?
Kenny Chesney: I'm not gay
That should be the least of his concerns. I hope he is seeing a psychiatrist who is helping him to try taking the hat off. Come on Kenny - I don't like going bald either. But let it breathe for christ's sake!
Kansas changes course on evolution
Apparently they have changed course 5 times in the last few years. What bothers me most is that the decisions are all made by a 10 member "State Board of Education." Ten people decide the curriculum for an entire state? Does that qualify as democratic?
Man killed after table leg attack on strangers
Were they making fun of his table leg? Oh dear.
Okay, so at least in the droll, cold days of winter, at least we still have the shocking entertainment value of American News.
25 January 2007
Why People Think Americans Are Stupid
Not much to say on this - just watch it.....
By the way, that's not really John Howard, the Prime Minister of Australia. That would cost too much of Queen Elizabeth's money, production-wise.......
My favourite answer is when the guy is asked if he boycotts French products, and he gives the bullshit line "Actually not boycotting them, but not going out of our way to look for them." As if he used to run around Texas looking for Frenchy-stuff.
By the way, that's not really John Howard, the Prime Minister of Australia. That would cost too much of Queen Elizabeth's money, production-wise.......
My favourite answer is when the guy is asked if he boycotts French products, and he gives the bullshit line "Actually not boycotting them, but not going out of our way to look for them." As if he used to run around Texas looking for Frenchy-stuff.
24 January 2007
A serious blog about seriously serious and nonsensically unserious issues
Yeah, I haven't really written one in a while. I have had plenty of time but just have had things on my mind, and so much crazy shit going on, kind of like stones being flung during a good Iranian stoning (which wouldn't be good at all - ick - the image of that just makes me nauseated...)
Anyway, I can can officially say I have a disease - yay for disease!
First of all, I was sick for a couple days last week - gastrointestinal issues. I went to the doctor, who actually wasn't a doctor but a nurse practitioner, and I don't like her. But my doctor was too booked and I needed to get in because I was getting close to explosion. She just sort of blew it off as irritable bowel, and gave me some miralax (which isn't really what you think, but the name sure sounds like it) which I took the next day. I felt fine all evening, until a wave of just horrible pain overtook me so fast that I thought the miralax had been replaced with mirror shards.
Anyway, went to the Emergency Department (which I was hesitant about, during massive pain, just because I knew I would be examined by people I work with!) and had all the tests, got an iv and some drugs, and was put through a ct scan. That's quite an interesting piece of science-fictional machinery - and there's a lovely drink that you ingest first that is like a koolaid tonic - but you have to drink two giant cups of it and when your stomach is already about to burst.....ouch. Then just prior to being slowly missiled into this revolving tunnel of magnets, the technician injects you with the "contrast dye" which is the oddest sensation ever. You feel this coldness going in and then in an instant your whole body is hot, and your mouth feels like you just swallowed fire. But it only lasts an instant.
Anyway, it turned out that I had a very distended large intestine. But the doctor very bluntly stated that the pain was coming from the fact that I have polycystic kidneys and liver, and the pressure in my abdomen was pushing on them and causing these intense pains. So right there, I found out what I had been dreading for YEARS.
My mother has polycystic kidney disease, which is an autosomal dominant condition. This means that if you have a parent with the disease, you have a 50/50 chance of having it yourself. My older sister Patti had already been diagnosed - it's one of those diseases that is "discovered" whilst undergoing tests for something else usually, which is how my mother and my sister both found out, just like me. My mother's mother had it, as did her sister, and both of her kids also have it, as well as some of their kids (my cousins, but whether they are first, second, removed, etc., I just don't know.) It is basically a defective gene thing where the kidneys grow all these cysts on themselves, and it can also affect your liver, pancreas, spleen, and rarely the heart and brain. It varies among individuals, but basically it starts developing in your teen years and gets worse as you age, to the point where about half of people with it need some sort of dyalisis or kidney transplant by age 60. The symptoms include high blood pressure, blood in the urine (which I've never had - yuck), pain in the back and sides, and fatigue.
So I pretty much counted on being diagnosed at some point in my life, because I have had all of those symptoms (except the blood/urine combo) since I was in college. But I just held it in the back of my mind and didn't think about it except whenever I felt something odd going on, or went to the doctor, etc. My grandmother had a kidney removed in her 50s; she died of pneumonia years later. My great-aunt died in her 80s, and my mother has never had much problem, other than the symptoms.
I got to see the ct, due to the fact that I work at the hospital, which is an interesting piece of technology, except when it is finding diseases. It basically takes pictures of your body in slices, which you can view progressively on a computer, as if you are travelling up or down through the body. According to the doctor's notes, mine vary and the largest ones are about 4 cm, which seems absurdly large, but my kidneys aren't enlarged, which is a good thing, because they eventually do.
Aside from that bit of wondrous news: I had the worst day possible on sunday at work, due to the fact that everyone decided to crack their skulls or die or fall down stairs or crush their arms or burn their hand, all within about 2 hours' time. And I was still sore from the previous two days of being in gi distress. Then on monday while working I received orders for an admission, which turned out to be my dad, who was admitted for an abcess in his colostomy (he had major surgery 2 weeks ago.) So he's in the hospital but doing fine I guess.
But the main event of the last few days has just been the constant thoughts going through my head about all this new shit that I have to deal with - being scared every time I feel pain now, etc., that it's my kidneys exploding or something. I also need to make some changes, such as quitting smoking and eating better, and cutting out caffeine, which is unimagineable and probably won't happen entirely. But I am going to see the doctor next week and get something for the smoking - as long as I don't gain 200 lbs., I think I can do it.......
AND, it just makes me contemplate life more than I ever had before, and what I want to do with the remains of it. In all honesty nothing has changed - I probably have the same lifespan expectancy of any other normal person, and there's all sorts of treatments in the works for this disease (although not a cure.) But now I realise that I need to start doing something REAL with my life; something I WANT to do, which doesn't include working a shit office job in a field I don't particularly like working in, and living in a shit village in an area that I despise (sorry to those of you from the area - but I have my own reasons.) More than ever, I feel motivated not only to enjoy life more, but to get the hell out of here, away from my loving but overbearing family, and do something completely different, because so far I haven't really found a niche. I like working in the non-profit industry, and my present job has some great benefits over and above the benefit of horrible stress. And I would continue doing it - as long as it were somewhere ELSE. I don't care how far I have to go, but I need a change of scenery and I need to live somewhere with people that are more open minded and have more on their minds than guns and hunting and Packers and LTD catalogs and snow-shovelling, all of which I despise.
So Bush had his State of the Union Address. Where the hell was I? I didn't know about it, which doesn't matter anyway. Because I wouldn't have watched it anyway, although I'm sure the Daily Show will have some good clips.
Mummified baby found wrapped in 1957 newspapers.
So if you want to be mummified at death, should you start keeping all your papers? A very odd story...
'Happy' years with abducted boy
I still don't get it. Did this pizza guy kidnap these two kids just so he had people to play video games with? It's certainly the most intriguing kidnapping story I've heard of. Except maybe Patricia Hearst - although her abduction I would call "campy" considering the fact that she later appeared in John Water's movies.
'Smoking gun' report to say global warming here
Apparently in February there's going to be a report released that proves global warming is going to lead to devastation. All I can say is it's certainly been good to us this winter! Yay for global warming! Or at least, yay for U.P. warming!!!
Which might explain this...
Northeast Stunned By Freak January Snowfall
The picture in the article just kills me.
And to end, I still love this fucking commercial and I don't know why, except for the fact that Kate Winslet is my only female crush......
I think I should get an American Express Card just for the extra advertising. Pleeeeasse?
Anyway, I can can officially say I have a disease - yay for disease!
First of all, I was sick for a couple days last week - gastrointestinal issues. I went to the doctor, who actually wasn't a doctor but a nurse practitioner, and I don't like her. But my doctor was too booked and I needed to get in because I was getting close to explosion. She just sort of blew it off as irritable bowel, and gave me some miralax (which isn't really what you think, but the name sure sounds like it) which I took the next day. I felt fine all evening, until a wave of just horrible pain overtook me so fast that I thought the miralax had been replaced with mirror shards.
Anyway, went to the Emergency Department (which I was hesitant about, during massive pain, just because I knew I would be examined by people I work with!) and had all the tests, got an iv and some drugs, and was put through a ct scan. That's quite an interesting piece of science-fictional machinery - and there's a lovely drink that you ingest first that is like a koolaid tonic - but you have to drink two giant cups of it and when your stomach is already about to burst.....ouch. Then just prior to being slowly missiled into this revolving tunnel of magnets, the technician injects you with the "contrast dye" which is the oddest sensation ever. You feel this coldness going in and then in an instant your whole body is hot, and your mouth feels like you just swallowed fire. But it only lasts an instant.
Anyway, it turned out that I had a very distended large intestine. But the doctor very bluntly stated that the pain was coming from the fact that I have polycystic kidneys and liver, and the pressure in my abdomen was pushing on them and causing these intense pains. So right there, I found out what I had been dreading for YEARS.
My mother has polycystic kidney disease, which is an autosomal dominant condition. This means that if you have a parent with the disease, you have a 50/50 chance of having it yourself. My older sister Patti had already been diagnosed - it's one of those diseases that is "discovered" whilst undergoing tests for something else usually, which is how my mother and my sister both found out, just like me. My mother's mother had it, as did her sister, and both of her kids also have it, as well as some of their kids (my cousins, but whether they are first, second, removed, etc., I just don't know.) It is basically a defective gene thing where the kidneys grow all these cysts on themselves, and it can also affect your liver, pancreas, spleen, and rarely the heart and brain. It varies among individuals, but basically it starts developing in your teen years and gets worse as you age, to the point where about half of people with it need some sort of dyalisis or kidney transplant by age 60. The symptoms include high blood pressure, blood in the urine (which I've never had - yuck), pain in the back and sides, and fatigue.
So I pretty much counted on being diagnosed at some point in my life, because I have had all of those symptoms (except the blood/urine combo) since I was in college. But I just held it in the back of my mind and didn't think about it except whenever I felt something odd going on, or went to the doctor, etc. My grandmother had a kidney removed in her 50s; she died of pneumonia years later. My great-aunt died in her 80s, and my mother has never had much problem, other than the symptoms.
I got to see the ct, due to the fact that I work at the hospital, which is an interesting piece of technology, except when it is finding diseases. It basically takes pictures of your body in slices, which you can view progressively on a computer, as if you are travelling up or down through the body. According to the doctor's notes, mine vary and the largest ones are about 4 cm, which seems absurdly large, but my kidneys aren't enlarged, which is a good thing, because they eventually do.
Aside from that bit of wondrous news: I had the worst day possible on sunday at work, due to the fact that everyone decided to crack their skulls or die or fall down stairs or crush their arms or burn their hand, all within about 2 hours' time. And I was still sore from the previous two days of being in gi distress. Then on monday while working I received orders for an admission, which turned out to be my dad, who was admitted for an abcess in his colostomy (he had major surgery 2 weeks ago.) So he's in the hospital but doing fine I guess.
But the main event of the last few days has just been the constant thoughts going through my head about all this new shit that I have to deal with - being scared every time I feel pain now, etc., that it's my kidneys exploding or something. I also need to make some changes, such as quitting smoking and eating better, and cutting out caffeine, which is unimagineable and probably won't happen entirely. But I am going to see the doctor next week and get something for the smoking - as long as I don't gain 200 lbs., I think I can do it.......
AND, it just makes me contemplate life more than I ever had before, and what I want to do with the remains of it. In all honesty nothing has changed - I probably have the same lifespan expectancy of any other normal person, and there's all sorts of treatments in the works for this disease (although not a cure.) But now I realise that I need to start doing something REAL with my life; something I WANT to do, which doesn't include working a shit office job in a field I don't particularly like working in, and living in a shit village in an area that I despise (sorry to those of you from the area - but I have my own reasons.) More than ever, I feel motivated not only to enjoy life more, but to get the hell out of here, away from my loving but overbearing family, and do something completely different, because so far I haven't really found a niche. I like working in the non-profit industry, and my present job has some great benefits over and above the benefit of horrible stress. And I would continue doing it - as long as it were somewhere ELSE. I don't care how far I have to go, but I need a change of scenery and I need to live somewhere with people that are more open minded and have more on their minds than guns and hunting and Packers and LTD catalogs and snow-shovelling, all of which I despise.
So Bush had his State of the Union Address. Where the hell was I? I didn't know about it, which doesn't matter anyway. Because I wouldn't have watched it anyway, although I'm sure the Daily Show will have some good clips.
Mummified baby found wrapped in 1957 newspapers.
So if you want to be mummified at death, should you start keeping all your papers? A very odd story...
'Happy' years with abducted boy
I still don't get it. Did this pizza guy kidnap these two kids just so he had people to play video games with? It's certainly the most intriguing kidnapping story I've heard of. Except maybe Patricia Hearst - although her abduction I would call "campy" considering the fact that she later appeared in John Water's movies.
'Smoking gun' report to say global warming here
Apparently in February there's going to be a report released that proves global warming is going to lead to devastation. All I can say is it's certainly been good to us this winter! Yay for global warming! Or at least, yay for U.P. warming!!!
Which might explain this...
Northeast Stunned By Freak January Snowfall
The picture in the article just kills me.
And to end, I still love this fucking commercial and I don't know why, except for the fact that Kate Winslet is my only female crush......
I think I should get an American Express Card just for the extra advertising. Pleeeeasse?
09 January 2007
Crankiness
I have the day off on tuesday, after working five days in a row. I guess most people would look at that statement and say "so the f what?" but I REALLY need a day off. Working in the Emergency Department can go from a breeze to complete and utter havoc in 2 seconds. Yesterday I was breathing a sigh of relief after a long wave of registering patient after patient. Then somebody came in. Then another. In 5 minutes I watched 8 people walk in the front door to be treated. That might not mean much to most people. But you must consider the fact that it takes about 10 minutes to get a person registered, after which it is probably safe to say the average treatment time would be at least an hour. So in 8 minutes I was given 80 minutes of work, which didn't include the fact that more people walked in after that short period. It just went on and on, without stop. And then there are the admissions, the babies born, the pregnant women and girls who come in for tests, the various vials of urine that I have to register and send for tests, and other odd jobs. Nothing happens on any certain schedule of regularity - it just gets thrown at you in big globs - like a shit-throwing monkey. What a poor analogy.
So anyway, this was my first five-day stretch. I usually work three days on, then one off, then four on, two off, etc. I feel like I was trampled in a riotous Spanish soccer tournament. Maybe I'm just a big pussy, but that's fine with me. Wah, wah, wah. There's a reason that most of the nurses down there work 12 hour shifts - then they only work 3 days a week. Same with the doctors. So this five-day thing isn't for the birds.
I think the most irritating thing about my job is dealing with the hoardes of people who come in for treatment who do NOT need to be treated. At least, they don't have to be treated in an Emergeny Room. Sniffles, cold sores, and rashes can be dealt with by using Sudafed, caution, and hydrocortisone. But if you go to the ED to deal with them, you accrue a bill of at least $200.00. That's just insane. And the big wammer of all is the fact that a lot of these people don't pay! We live in a country where there is no universal health coverage, so people without insurance go to Emergency whenever they get damaged, diseased, or want Vicodin. Then the bill comes, and it equals four weeks worth of work, and it doesn't get paid. So there's no wonder why it costs so much for health insurance here, and for services rendered - because you are paying for yourself and all the people that didn't pay! In fact, most people WITH health insurance don't get free care in an Emergency room situation - they must first prove that the treatment was necessary and an 'emergency', and then they usually still have to pay at least a percentage of the bill. And do you think they pay it? Some maybe do.
That may sound like an argument in favor of the conservatives, but it's not. It's an argument for the fact that we should just square up to the fact that we're the only country without universal healthcare in the free, developed world, and we should just revolutionize and do the deed.
Anyway, that was my little political fanfare for the day. I'm tired and crabby and my day off has started, and I plan to spend at least 8 hours of it sleeping. But in the meantime, here's another long political rant - in the form of a movie. It's full length, but you might want to check out at least some of it before you go buy your next pair of 2 dollar slippers.
So anyway, this was my first five-day stretch. I usually work three days on, then one off, then four on, two off, etc. I feel like I was trampled in a riotous Spanish soccer tournament. Maybe I'm just a big pussy, but that's fine with me. Wah, wah, wah. There's a reason that most of the nurses down there work 12 hour shifts - then they only work 3 days a week. Same with the doctors. So this five-day thing isn't for the birds.
I think the most irritating thing about my job is dealing with the hoardes of people who come in for treatment who do NOT need to be treated. At least, they don't have to be treated in an Emergeny Room. Sniffles, cold sores, and rashes can be dealt with by using Sudafed, caution, and hydrocortisone. But if you go to the ED to deal with them, you accrue a bill of at least $200.00. That's just insane. And the big wammer of all is the fact that a lot of these people don't pay! We live in a country where there is no universal health coverage, so people without insurance go to Emergency whenever they get damaged, diseased, or want Vicodin. Then the bill comes, and it equals four weeks worth of work, and it doesn't get paid. So there's no wonder why it costs so much for health insurance here, and for services rendered - because you are paying for yourself and all the people that didn't pay! In fact, most people WITH health insurance don't get free care in an Emergency room situation - they must first prove that the treatment was necessary and an 'emergency', and then they usually still have to pay at least a percentage of the bill. And do you think they pay it? Some maybe do.
That may sound like an argument in favor of the conservatives, but it's not. It's an argument for the fact that we should just square up to the fact that we're the only country without universal healthcare in the free, developed world, and we should just revolutionize and do the deed.
Anyway, that was my little political fanfare for the day. I'm tired and crabby and my day off has started, and I plan to spend at least 8 hours of it sleeping. But in the meantime, here's another long political rant - in the form of a movie. It's full length, but you might want to check out at least some of it before you go buy your next pair of 2 dollar slippers.
07 January 2007
Britons to be scanned for FBI database
I just came across this on The Guardian website. Here's a few choice excerpts....
The Observer has established that under new plans to combat terrorism, the US government will demand that visitors have all 10 fingers scanned when they enter the country. The information will be shared with intelligence agencies, including the FBI, with no restrictions on their international use.
Countries subject to the new scheme include Britain, other European Union nations, Japan, Australia and New Zealand.
Britons already have their credit card details and email accounts inspected by the American authorities following a deal between the EU and the Department of Homeland Security. Now passengers face having all their credit card transactions traced when using one to book a flight. And travellers giving an email address to an airline will be open to having all messages they send and receive from that address scrutinised.
I don't know about you, but I feel totally naked now.
Read the whole article here .....
The GUARDIAN
If you found this depressing, horrifying, or whatever, then maybe this will cheer you up. I am embarrassed to say it did me!
AMERICAN IDOL TWO-NIGHT SEASON PREMIERE JANUARY 16 AND 17
YAY for another four months of shameless meat-marketing!
The Observer has established that under new plans to combat terrorism, the US government will demand that visitors have all 10 fingers scanned when they enter the country. The information will be shared with intelligence agencies, including the FBI, with no restrictions on their international use.
Countries subject to the new scheme include Britain, other European Union nations, Japan, Australia and New Zealand.
Britons already have their credit card details and email accounts inspected by the American authorities following a deal between the EU and the Department of Homeland Security. Now passengers face having all their credit card transactions traced when using one to book a flight. And travellers giving an email address to an airline will be open to having all messages they send and receive from that address scrutinised.
I don't know about you, but I feel totally naked now.
Read the whole article here .....
The GUARDIAN
If you found this depressing, horrifying, or whatever, then maybe this will cheer you up. I am embarrassed to say it did me!
AMERICAN IDOL TWO-NIGHT SEASON PREMIERE JANUARY 16 AND 17
YAY for another four months of shameless meat-marketing!
06 January 2007
Trouble Hiding in the Bushes.
Apparently I confused-and-or offended some people in my other blog about Laura Bush and her blood-shitting. I guess the thought of a former-democratic Texan mouse-wife sitting on the toilet and analyzing her toilet paper just isn't appetizing, or else it steals away from her doe-eyed glamour. (Click here to see the controversial cover.)
TO MAKE IT CLEAR - that was a front-page shot from The Onion, which is a parody newspaper that is published both in print and online. Kind of a no-holds-barred comedic attack on everything in the political, pop culture, and general American world. Here's a link so that you can decide whether you are enthralled or appalled...........
TO MAKE IT CLEAR - that was a front-page shot from The Onion, which is a parody newspaper that is published both in print and online. Kind of a no-holds-barred comedic attack on everything in the political, pop culture, and general American world. Here's a link so that you can decide whether you are enthralled or appalled...........
THE ONION
Actually that picture was from the Sunday Magazine insert of the Onion. For your pleasure/horror, I present some more.
This one is the best - - - - - -- -
You can view them all here - SUNDAY MAGAZINE
Tonight I caught a brief bit of the local news, which should only be brief, because nothing really happens here. Anyway, it was WLUC TV-6, and Greg Trick (who must be getting the Barbara Hershey collagen lip-injections or something) reported on two men falling through the ice on a lake in Delta County.
WHO THE FUCK IS OUT ON THE ICE RIGHT NOW? IT HAS BEEN IN THE FORTIES FOR TWO WEEKS! WE HAVE NO SNOW! FUCKING IDIOTS!
Ok, I just wanted to swear a little. But we've also had all these skiing accidents at the hospital, and I don't get that either, because I would imagine that any 'snow' on the slopes would be just ice, or like a Slushee with no flavor.
I'm watching MARS ATTACKS right now. Anybody who does not understand this movie's comedic intent needs to go back to funny school.
I have three more days of my five-day stretch working at the hospital. If you are reading this, please don't come in! As much as I love you, we just don't need any more customers right now.
Here's one more picture of a family photo I'm working on. This one is in bad shape. That's my Great-Grandmother Harvey on the left, and my great-great aunt (the one in the previous picture.)
This one is the best - - - - - -- -
You can view them all here - SUNDAY MAGAZINE
Tonight I caught a brief bit of the local news, which should only be brief, because nothing really happens here. Anyway, it was WLUC TV-6, and Greg Trick (who must be getting the Barbara Hershey collagen lip-injections or something) reported on two men falling through the ice on a lake in Delta County.
WHO THE FUCK IS OUT ON THE ICE RIGHT NOW? IT HAS BEEN IN THE FORTIES FOR TWO WEEKS! WE HAVE NO SNOW! FUCKING IDIOTS!
Ok, I just wanted to swear a little. But we've also had all these skiing accidents at the hospital, and I don't get that either, because I would imagine that any 'snow' on the slopes would be just ice, or like a Slushee with no flavor.
I'm watching MARS ATTACKS right now. Anybody who does not understand this movie's comedic intent needs to go back to funny school.
I have three more days of my five-day stretch working at the hospital. If you are reading this, please don't come in! As much as I love you, we just don't need any more customers right now.
Here's one more picture of a family photo I'm working on. This one is in bad shape. That's my Great-Grandmother Harvey on the left, and my great-great aunt (the one in the previous picture.)
04 January 2007
Little House on the Horrid, Evil Prairie
As many of you know, I've been a life-long fan of Little House on the Prairie, a fancy that should be hidden away and not discussed with others. Really, when I tell most people that I watch that show constantly, and have seen every episode, they say something along the lines of "you're a dumbass." And then they usually admit to the fact that they've seen at least enough episodes that they can relate to some of the reasons that I find the show entertaining, even 20 years past its heyday.
So tonight I pressed the TIVO button (um, yeah, I record Little House, but only in small amounts, because it is on 50 times a day and would overwhelm the tivo hard drive) and found that one of my all-time favorite episodes was on - "May We Make Them Proud." If you don't recognize Little House episodes by name, you might recognize this one if I mention three words - Blind School Fire.
If you ever read the books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, you would know that she wrote a series based on the lighthearded memories of her youth. Although she did suffer personal tragedies, like any other person on the planet, Wilder left most of those out of the books. About the worst that happens in the novels involves having to keep warm with burning haysticks during a blizzard, or getting a spanking for being naughty.
Well when you turn a 7-volume series of books into a 9-year television series, I guess you have to add a little "drama" here and there beyond what happens within the books, because of course you don't have the material to cover several hundred hours of viewing pleasure. So new characters were invented, moral-packed story lines invented, and many children were probably scared into months of nightmares on occasion.
The episode I speak of is one of those scarring memories from childhood that, when I watch it now, gives me a cheap thrill. Because this isn't the usual Little House episode, with Harriet spilling gossip or Laura stealing a music box. This is sheer, war-like terror - the kind of thing that if it were real, would be on CNN for 24 hours straight.
Basically the storyline is as follows - the blind school is adding an addition, so they decide to throw a chili cook-out in the front yard as a fundraiser. (I won't comment any further on the historically inaccurate portrayal of the Ingalls family eating chili in the 1880s.) Albert "let's add an orphan to the show to add some spark" Ingalls and some ugly friend decide to steal some old guy's pipe and go smoke in the basement (there was no minimum age on smoking back then, so why they had to go in the basement is beyond me.) After a couple sickening puffs of smoke (children smoking on television was just fine in the early 80s) they are almost caught by Hester Sue "token black lady for diversity's sake" Terhune, and discard the STILL LIT pipe into a convenient box full of cinder-ific clothes.
(Hopefully my over-use of parentheses didn't make the above paragraph illegible.)
Several hours pass, as do several shots of the ominously growing spark pile, until the box bursts into flames, in an unlikely poof, as though someone threw gasoline in the box. Anyway, Hester Sue goes to check on that "slight odor" that she and Alice Garvey hint at over their cups of tea, and sees smoke emanating from the basement door. So what does she do? She swings open the door, and it's like the movie "Backdraft",except Hester Sue doesn't singe a single hair.
Never mind the fact that she could've just pushed the door shut and avoided a worse disaster. Never mind the fact that the basement door is perched conveniently below the only exit from the upstairs. In fact, I would love to go back to a prior episode to see if that door was even there.
Anyway, upstairs, there are all those poor blind children to evacuate! So Alice, Hester Sue, and helpless, whiney, blind Adam go upstairs and get all the kids out. Adam gets to Mary and tells her of the situation, but she decides to tuck her baby into his crib for the night before leaving the inferno (she was book-smart, but that's where it ended.) Anyway, everyone is evacuated, except for the baby and a "token black blind boy" who is conveniently stuck in the bathroom. (Again, I won't comment any further on the modern plumbing they had in this 19th century prairie school.) So Alice saves the kid from the shitter, but goddamn it - aww shoot! Nobody got the baby! So she goes back in, the saint that she is.
Well even saints do evil things. Because the next thing we know, Alice is trapped upstairs in the towering inferno, and as the blind children and adults lay on the grass, seemingly "watching" the blaze (apparently the heat tipped them off to the direction of the fire) we suddenly hear screams from the upper window.
It's Alice, with the baby, and as searing flames close in about them, she decides to break the window in an attempt to escape. So instead of grabbing a chair or some other implement, she uses the baby as a battering ram to break the window, all to no avail. Apparently the baby doesn't prove to be a good glass-breaking device, because that's the last we see of Alice alive. Or the baby. So then Mary, after annoying us by screaming "My Baby" about 200 times, falls into some sort of psychosis.
After the commercial we arrive at the next day, and we see "hero hair" Michael Landon come out of the dirty, smoldering ruins, clean as an angel on the highway to heaven, with what is apprently the baby. The child is conveniently swaddled in spotless white cloth, so that we aren't further horrified by the site of a crisply burnt child. Likewise, the body of Alice is wrapped sarcophagus-style in a spotless sheet, with her now motherless child Andy (still not over the whole barn burning incident) and her dashing football-star husband weeping silently over it.
I'm sure Merlin Oleson was a great ratings asset to the show - but his weeping abilities were sorely lacking. He should've taken some direction from Mary, whose pitiful life was filled with opportunities for her to practice shedding tears.
Going on... then Doc Baker, who apparently has skills as an arson investigator along with his veterinarian/people-fixer degree, finds the pipe in the mess. Apparently when a mansion-sized house burns to the ground, it's really not that hard to find such things, even though a house that large would theoretically fill the basement cavity with debris. Well he shows the pipe to Charles, who evidently has to know everything that goes on. Then the doc turns his attentions to Mary and drugs her into oblivion with "sleeping powders." I wonder if those were snorted?
So blah blah - the rest of the show is worthless to watch. Albert feels guilt, Mary wakes up 9 days later from her drug-induced coma and screams "My Baby" another 200 shrill times, Albert runs away, Mary then decides it's her turn to bloody herself up by breaking through a window, and the rest is just the usual teary-eyed blather. Everything is resolved in the end, except that now the actress who played Alice (Hersha Parady) is out of a job. I'm sure the "baby" was just a doll, so that's no big deal - even the directors of the less-moral eighties would've known better than to break glass with a real child. And I think Hester Sue sings a song and they put up some new plaque, which for some reason Harriet doesn't object to. Of course you can't really have Harriet around at such somber occasions, because she would just say something mean and ruin the tears. God, I love Harriet.
End of story. If that wasn't enough drama for you, check out some of the other dandies that the Little House crew produced - such as child-hunk James getting shot in the head, or the Sylvia two-parter - a charming story of child rape and masked demons. There are also at least three episodes involving carriage or wagon incidents, usually resulting in maiming and death. Particularly lovely is the one where James and Cassandra get to watch their parents die hideously - always good to expose children to such things early on.
So if you were among the millions that decided it was irresistable to go on youtube and watch Saddam's hanging, you would get a much bigger thrill by looking for that episode of Little House, next time it's on. Or any "very special" episode. And these are all lovingly filmed in full color by real cameras, not some jiggly middle eastern videophone.
Speaking of little houses, I decided to take a picture of my living room tonight, because I finally decided that it was presentable enough now to call a "living room." A little cramped, but the new sectional suits it well, and the clutter sort of takes attention away from the extreme crookedness of the house. As you can see, my small zoo of creatures love the new couch.
Click on the photo for a somewhat larger version.
03 January 2007
The latest CNN poll
| Would you pay $750,000 for a waterfront trailer? |
| or View Results |
Illness, and the art of photo restoration
So my dad had major surgery yesterday - he had a blockage in his colon and abcesses, amongst other things. It was a last-minute deal and he was doing ok, but in ICU for the time being. They had to remove part of his colon and perform an ostomy, which I guess he'll have for quite a while. Not fun I'm sure
Anyway today I guess his oxygen levels were bad and he wasn't breathing that great - a lot of coughing, which just isn't good when you have a huge abdominal incision - so they put him on a ventilator. Anyway I went up there to visit and my mother was there of course, and seeing someone on a ventilator just isn't fun, because obviously they have a tube shoved down their windpipe and another down into their stomach, and they have to be totally sedated. We learned in EMT class that you can't intubate a person who is conscious, because of course having something stuck down your throat like that would cause instant panic and vomiting. So anyway, my dad was sedated but kept coming to just a little bit, so of course he would sort of jerk around, and his hands were tied down (because it would be an obvious reaction to pull the tube out if you woke up) so it just wasn't fun to watch. Anyway, I guess he's doing much better on the ventilator, or was when I left, and I told my mother she needed to leave too, because she seemed rather freaked out every time he moved.
So anyway, I guess he's on the ventilator for at least a couple days, until he starts to heal up and his lungs clear out, and then he'll be in the hospital for a few days if all goes well. Of course he's in terrible health as it is - three heart attacks and heading into the world of dementia - so who knows. I've never had a good relationship with him - in fact, he has done a lot of things that I would like him to apologize to me and others for, but I'm not too worried about it now. I just don't want my mother to go crazy (and my sister freaks out wayyyy too much about everything, so she isn't helping matters and I told her to just calm down a bit tonight.)
And I get freaked out too - in fact, this job at the hospital has turned me into a total hypochondriac. It is very disturbing to me, when we have patients come in with chest pain, or shortness of breath, or cancer of any sort, and they are close to my age. VERY disturbing. Because now every time I have the slightest bit of pain or tingle anywhere, I get nervous, knowing that there are quite a lot of people in their thirties that get seriously ill. If the stress doesn't kill me, my own imagination will.
So I've been seriously working on trying to get a litle healthier - I'm trying to eat FRUIT, which I'm not a huge fan of, and other such nice things, and less crap. Seriously, I probably eat more sugar in a month than most people do in a year. The fact that I take vitamins is probably the only reason I don't have scurvy or rickets or some other deficiency disease.
And at work they have a really good program for employees that allows us to use all the exercise equipment in the physical therapy department - which is brand new, and the equipment is very nice. So I am going to join that, which is 25 bucks a month, deducted right from the paycheck - not bad considering the convenience of it. Sticking with it is the challenge, because I've joined three different gyms and the longest I lasted was about six months. But I intend to this time. Ah, the idiocy of new year's resolutions.
Anyway, I had to go let my mother's shih-tzu Rosie out yesterday, and I had been wanting to scan some pictures that were at her house, so I grabbed a few boxes and brought them home. Many of them are REALLY old family portraits from my mother's side, mostly from Ireland and England, and I've been working on some photo restoration.
I'm not an expert, and I tried using Adobe Photoshop, but I got nowhere. It is an insane program, and to learn it would be along the lines of learning CAD, which I also tried desperately to learn once. So I used Picasa and a couple different paint programs to work on a few of them. My favorite is the one below, which you'll see as a "before" and "after" so that I can show off my incredible amateurish skill. Seriously, I impressed myself! This photo had tears in and a little water damage but was otherwise a very clear photograph and not in too terribly bad shape. Some of the others will require more work. But my goal is to get all of these old photos scanned and fixed up, so that they can be saved from further deterioration, and also I plan to get them printed and frame them. I did a little experimental framing with the one below - I took an existing, cheap frame that had a little ocean scene in it, and replaced that scene with the photo.
So anyway, here's the picture, before, after, and in the frame. The woman in the photo is Catherine Harvey, who was my great-great aunt and my favorite relative of all. She was born in 1899 and died in 1985, so I would suspect this is a later-teen portrait of her, putting it at around 1917 or so.
Anyway today I guess his oxygen levels were bad and he wasn't breathing that great - a lot of coughing, which just isn't good when you have a huge abdominal incision - so they put him on a ventilator. Anyway I went up there to visit and my mother was there of course, and seeing someone on a ventilator just isn't fun, because obviously they have a tube shoved down their windpipe and another down into their stomach, and they have to be totally sedated. We learned in EMT class that you can't intubate a person who is conscious, because of course having something stuck down your throat like that would cause instant panic and vomiting. So anyway, my dad was sedated but kept coming to just a little bit, so of course he would sort of jerk around, and his hands were tied down (because it would be an obvious reaction to pull the tube out if you woke up) so it just wasn't fun to watch. Anyway, I guess he's doing much better on the ventilator, or was when I left, and I told my mother she needed to leave too, because she seemed rather freaked out every time he moved.
So anyway, I guess he's on the ventilator for at least a couple days, until he starts to heal up and his lungs clear out, and then he'll be in the hospital for a few days if all goes well. Of course he's in terrible health as it is - three heart attacks and heading into the world of dementia - so who knows. I've never had a good relationship with him - in fact, he has done a lot of things that I would like him to apologize to me and others for, but I'm not too worried about it now. I just don't want my mother to go crazy (and my sister freaks out wayyyy too much about everything, so she isn't helping matters and I told her to just calm down a bit tonight.)
And I get freaked out too - in fact, this job at the hospital has turned me into a total hypochondriac. It is very disturbing to me, when we have patients come in with chest pain, or shortness of breath, or cancer of any sort, and they are close to my age. VERY disturbing. Because now every time I have the slightest bit of pain or tingle anywhere, I get nervous, knowing that there are quite a lot of people in their thirties that get seriously ill. If the stress doesn't kill me, my own imagination will.
So I've been seriously working on trying to get a litle healthier - I'm trying to eat FRUIT, which I'm not a huge fan of, and other such nice things, and less crap. Seriously, I probably eat more sugar in a month than most people do in a year. The fact that I take vitamins is probably the only reason I don't have scurvy or rickets or some other deficiency disease.
And at work they have a really good program for employees that allows us to use all the exercise equipment in the physical therapy department - which is brand new, and the equipment is very nice. So I am going to join that, which is 25 bucks a month, deducted right from the paycheck - not bad considering the convenience of it. Sticking with it is the challenge, because I've joined three different gyms and the longest I lasted was about six months. But I intend to this time. Ah, the idiocy of new year's resolutions.
Anyway, I had to go let my mother's shih-tzu Rosie out yesterday, and I had been wanting to scan some pictures that were at her house, so I grabbed a few boxes and brought them home. Many of them are REALLY old family portraits from my mother's side, mostly from Ireland and England, and I've been working on some photo restoration.
I'm not an expert, and I tried using Adobe Photoshop, but I got nowhere. It is an insane program, and to learn it would be along the lines of learning CAD, which I also tried desperately to learn once. So I used Picasa and a couple different paint programs to work on a few of them. My favorite is the one below, which you'll see as a "before" and "after" so that I can show off my incredible amateurish skill. Seriously, I impressed myself! This photo had tears in and a little water damage but was otherwise a very clear photograph and not in too terribly bad shape. Some of the others will require more work. But my goal is to get all of these old photos scanned and fixed up, so that they can be saved from further deterioration, and also I plan to get them printed and frame them. I did a little experimental framing with the one below - I took an existing, cheap frame that had a little ocean scene in it, and replaced that scene with the photo.
So anyway, here's the picture, before, after, and in the frame. The woman in the photo is Catherine Harvey, who was my great-great aunt and my favorite relative of all. She was born in 1899 and died in 1985, so I would suspect this is a later-teen portrait of her, putting it at around 1917 or so.
So here's the BEFORE -
(click on them for larger images)
(click on them for larger images)
And AFTER -
and my experimental framing -
and my experimental framing -
02 January 2007
The green, green grass of January
It's just so ironic! There are all these news items about terrible storms plowing through the lower midwest, dumping foot after foot of snow, and accompanied by pictures like this -
Well for the first time ever since I have lived in the U.P., we have reached a new year without snow. Here is a picture of a gloomy morning, yesterday out my front window -
Well for the first time ever since I have lived in the U.P., we have reached a new year without snow. Here is a picture of a gloomy morning, yesterday out my front window -
Yes, some of that grass IS green. And people here are going nuts without their beloved, nasty snow. Yes, it's hurting the local economy and spoiling people's weekend fun, but I love it. I feel like the news commentator guy in the movie Airplane! who turns to the camera and says "I say LET 'em crash!"
I spent most of my afternoon sitting in the waiting room as my dad had major surgery at the hospital/my workplace. He had a major bowel obstruction with large abcesses, and potentially cancer, although that won't be decided until later in the week. Anyway, he has an ostomy, which he will have for at least a couple months, and is in intensive care. Apparently they were going to put him on a ventilator but he did fine without one for the time being. Anyway, he will probably be in the hospital for at least another week.
I hate such situations, not only because of the obvious, but because whenever anyone asked why I was there and I told them, they were pressed into doing the "oh no, is everything ok?" with that worried thing going on with their face. Well, I don't deal well with such things as having people do that to me, so I was rather glad to leave after a miserable four hours of sitting in uncomfortable chairs and reading year-old magazines. Don't I sound sympathetic! Well I am, but I really feel quite useless sitting in a waiting room like that, and didn't see him at all anyway. Anyway, he is doing fine tonight.
Two more days off! It's been so long that I know not what to do with myself.
I spent most of my afternoon sitting in the waiting room as my dad had major surgery at the hospital/my workplace. He had a major bowel obstruction with large abcesses, and potentially cancer, although that won't be decided until later in the week. Anyway, he has an ostomy, which he will have for at least a couple months, and is in intensive care. Apparently they were going to put him on a ventilator but he did fine without one for the time being. Anyway, he will probably be in the hospital for at least another week.
I hate such situations, not only because of the obvious, but because whenever anyone asked why I was there and I told them, they were pressed into doing the "oh no, is everything ok?" with that worried thing going on with their face. Well, I don't deal well with such things as having people do that to me, so I was rather glad to leave after a miserable four hours of sitting in uncomfortable chairs and reading year-old magazines. Don't I sound sympathetic! Well I am, but I really feel quite useless sitting in a waiting room like that, and didn't see him at all anyway. Anyway, he is doing fine tonight.
Two more days off! It's been so long that I know not what to do with myself.
01 January 2007
My hopes and fears for 2007. ILLUSTRATED
Over the past 34 trips around the sun, I have had many different experiences on the first day of each new year. Some were planned out in great detail to make for an extraordinary event; I don't remember any as being that extraordinary. Many years I have been either unceremonious or working; this year was an example of both. Although I only worked until 11, and had invites to go to a couple different local-flavor bars, I decided I was not in the mood for a disappointment, and really didn't want to ring in the new year while drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon in hospital scrubs. (Sorry to offend anyone - but the bars in this neck of the woods are, to the last one, AWFUL.)
There were various years where I did have fun - one such festivity almost involved me "coming out" at the Shamrock in Marquette, several years before I finally did it for real. Another more distant New Year ring-in involved the death of my grandmother at about an hour after midnight. So to me, celebrating New Year's Eve is sort of like being a chicken in a cockfight - you either die, or you win but now you're missing an eye and a foot. Well, maybe not so bad as that.
I came home and switched on my enormous 80s console tv, and started looking for Dick Clark. Was he on? There was a show entitled "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" or whatever, and I saw several glimpses of Ryan Seacrest (or one of those cookie-cutter boy-hosts,) but not the big Dick. That was my only reason for even turning on the tv - I wanted to see if he has gotten over the stroke, which would mean that he is still young-ish as ever, which would make me feel like I'm not getting really old. Does that make sense? God, I hope not.
But of course, ABC doesn't allow for us central-timers to feel part of the ceremony - it's only 11 here when they ring in the holiday, and so we have to just do a pretend ball-drop at midnight, which is when I got home. And, my god, that show is just awful. Are people really that ridiculous anymore? The performers were either people I had never heard of, or MEATLOAF, who should just retire. And when I heard something about Fergie hosting a party in Hollywood, I turned the channel. I don't want to see ex-royals grinding with Ludacris. Next the Duchess of York will be showing HER hoo-hah while exiting a limo. Change of topic.
Anyway, I got to thinking of what the new year might/should/won't entail, and started putting together some predictions. Being the psychic that I am not (I did predict Steve Carrell's rise in popularity, however) I thought I would take a smack at what I hope happens, what I hope DOESN'T happen, and what is just inevitable. With pictures.
Here we go.
1. The end of the dictatorship
Yeah, I know. He'll still be here. But now he's got some compa-tishin from the Con-griss. And no matter what, I just don't think he'll be able to get his war drums beating again. Rumsfeld's gone; Saddam's dead (and people didn't care much - they just wanted the opportunity to see a real hangin'); and people are just fed up. So maybe the opposition will be able to voice opinions freely again without getting a mouth-smack or put on the "do not fly" list.
2. Europe Will Get Cooler.
No, not because of global warming, because that wouldn't make sense. To most people. But anyhoo...The European Union now has more people, more trade, and more money than the United States. And come on - they have a lot of coolness - think IKEA!! So, since the "freedom fries" bullshit has died down, maybe people over here will pay more attention to what they are getting right over there. Which leads me to
3. Gay Rights
Now that the republicans and the christian right have trampled on the constitutions of most of the states by banning same-sex unions of all sorts (and constitutions were made to PROTECT rights, not take them away,) there is no direction to go but up. Really. And if people would pay more attention to the world around them, they would realize what fools we have been. Because if I wanted to, I could grab me a feller, hop in the car and drive 3 hours to Canada and go get hitched, and it would be legal, at least there. Even though the homophobes got their way for a while, the rainbow flags and gay cowboys are looming ever closer, and it won't take long for those in the middle to recall such past eras as segregation and prohibition, that just didn't work out.
4. The Next President Will either Have an Afro or a French Manicure.
You gotta face it - Hillary bashing has lost its groove, because she's basically proven herself to be pretty level-headed. And this Obama guy is seemingly invincible - a Tiger Woods who can give a Kennedy-like speech.
but sorry,Condi........
1+1 doesn't always equal two. I really think that she MUST be computer-generated, because the combination of black/female/republican just doesn't seem to compute, does it? She's like a tuna-and-cool-whip-on-banana-bread sandwich. A combination that nobody really asks for at the deli, am I right?
5. PLEASE - no more MUFFINTOP!
The combination of tight, low-rise jeans and a touch of abdominal fat cannot possibly be considered sexy to anyone. In fact, this is what comes to mind for me when I think of a classic muffintop -
-which is just hideously wrong. So hopefully the fad of women's jeans that button at the clitoris will die out. That also leads me to hope the following:
6. NO MORE MEN IN WOMEN'S JEANS
Okay, that photo is probably a chick. I had trouble googling for men in capri pants, so maybe that's a good sign. The closest thing I could find was this -
which is disgusting too, but at least there's no embroidery.
7. RAMPANT VIRAL DISEASES WILL DESTROY WEDDINGS (just like the gays marryin')
I just thought this was a funny image. But SARS is skeery.
8. I WILL FINALLY FIGURE OUT THE IPOD CRAZE
Seriously, it's just a fancy walkman, isn't it? Why the fuss? Or am I just jealous that I don't have one? No, no, no - not when I see something like this-
An ipod cozy. Suddenly it makes sense to me. Okay, I am a little bit jealous.
So that's some predictions - I've run out of ideas and pictures for today.
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