Celebritay

Do famous celebrities REALLY have their own myspace pages? I'm beginning to wonder.

Here's an example of where my trust begins to wane. Being a "Little House on the Prairie" nutcase-freak, I added the profile of "Nellie Oleson" to my friends list. "How cool is that?" you ask.

Well, I'm beginning to think it's not the real Nellie Oleson of Walnut Grove, Minnesota. I don't even think it's Ms. Alison Arngrim, the actress who played the role. The pseudo-Nellie sends out a gazillion bulletins a day. A couple of the more eloquent ones are "Entertain me! I'm bored!" and "You guys suck!"

I just don't think the real Nellie would have said such things. Sure, she was a bitch - I recognize that, and I actually like that quality about her. But real celebrities don't have to fish for attention like that! It's hurtful, vulgar chattel, and I'm hurt.

Anyway, I'm going to search now for the real Nellie Oleson, if she exists. I think I will recognize the REAL Nellie when I find her page. She will have recipes for bread and pie, as served in her own restaurant, with kudos to Percival for teaching them to her. She might brag a little about the fancy carpets in her mother's house, and her china dolls and how she gets to eat candy all day. Who knows. But when I find her, I WILL know it's her......

(Did I use "kudos" in the right way? I'm still not sure if it's a real word, or just someone's sick way of making fun of the breakfast bar of the 90s.)

Pernicious

I am addicted to Jim Gaffigan right now. He's the comic that speaks in a "little voice" between jokes, as if he is voicing the audience's opinion of his act. His style is very self-deprecating, which I always like in a comedian. He talks of eating a "Hot Pocket" and it's so bad that, afterward, his back hurts. Ooowww!

The Westboro Baptist "Church" was purportedly in town today - to protest, or rather celebrate, the death of a local soldier. If you've never heard of them, you can read all about them here - and this wikipedia entry should have a headline shouting "This is the ACTUAL truth about these people's beliefs," much like the South Park episode about the Scientologists.....anyway, here it is......
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church

I was driving home from work at 6:30 this morning, and I suddenly realized that I was following home the former "dickhead of my life." I doubt that he saw me, and it took me a while to figure out if it was him. Anyway, I had an urge to pass him and flip him off, or just smile, or something, but I didn't. For one thing, he was flying down the highway in a pickup attached to a cattle trailer, doing about 75 mph in a construction zone, so I didn't feel it was worth the risk. And, I have known for several weeks now that I am OVER him, and I didn't feel that it would be of any benefit to myself. Plus, it might have given him pleasure to see me run off the road and die, which could've happened considering his excessive speed. HA - what a fat idiot. There - I'm allowed to say it once.

I went swimming at the beach - by myself - this afternoon. After working all night and feeling weary, sluggish, but NOT tired - the way I always feel when I get home after an all-nighter - I decided it would be refreshing to go for a swim at my favorite local beach. I got there, laid the towel down, and was ready to relax for a bit - and my phone rang. It was work, wanting me to come in for second shift. Since I need every cent I can get, I agreed, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get a nap in if I went home. So i slept on the beach for a half hour, then went for the best swim I've had in a long time! There was not a soul around, and I just played in the waves like I was nine. It was awesome. True, it's more fun to swim with good friends, but there was something so "Castaway" about it, and since I was delirious from lack of sleep, it was reminiscent of a good, mild acid trip. I probably looked like a total psychotic.

But now I'm just downright tired. Good night.

There is nothing worse...

...than being so tired that I cannot sleep. And having a Goo Goo Dolls song stuck in my head.