Yeah, I haven't really written one in a while. I have had plenty of time but just have had things on my mind, and so much crazy shit going on, kind of like stones being flung during a good Iranian stoning (which wouldn't be good at all - ick - the image of that just makes me nauseated...)
Anyway, I can can officially say I have a disease - yay for disease!
First of all, I was sick for a couple days last week - gastrointestinal issues. I went to the doctor, who actually wasn't a doctor but a nurse practitioner, and I don't like her. But my doctor was too booked and I needed to get in because I was getting close to explosion. She just sort of blew it off as irritable bowel, and gave me some miralax (which isn't really what you think, but the name sure sounds like it) which I took the next day. I felt fine all evening, until a wave of just horrible pain overtook me so fast that I thought the miralax had been replaced with mirror shards.
Anyway, went to the Emergency Department (which I was hesitant about, during massive pain, just because I knew I would be examined by people I work with!) and had all the tests, got an iv and some drugs, and was put through a ct scan. That's quite an interesting piece of science-fictional machinery - and there's a lovely drink that you ingest first that is like a koolaid tonic - but you have to drink two giant cups of it and when your stomach is already about to burst.....ouch. Then just prior to being slowly missiled into this revolving tunnel of magnets, the technician injects you with the "contrast dye" which is the oddest sensation ever. You feel this coldness going in and then in an instant your whole body is hot, and your mouth feels like you just swallowed fire. But it only lasts an instant.
Anyway, it turned out that I had a very distended large intestine. But the doctor very bluntly stated that the pain was coming from the fact that I have polycystic kidneys and liver, and the pressure in my abdomen was pushing on them and causing these intense pains. So right there, I found out what I had been dreading for YEARS.
My mother has polycystic kidney disease, which is an autosomal dominant condition. This means that if you have a parent with the disease, you have a 50/50 chance of having it yourself. My older sister Patti had already been diagnosed - it's one of those diseases that is "discovered" whilst undergoing tests for something else usually, which is how my mother and my sister both found out, just like me. My mother's mother had it, as did her sister, and both of her kids also have it, as well as some of their kids (my cousins, but whether they are first, second, removed, etc., I just don't know.) It is basically a defective gene thing where the kidneys grow all these cysts on themselves, and it can also affect your liver, pancreas, spleen, and rarely the heart and brain. It varies among individuals, but basically it starts developing in your teen years and gets worse as you age, to the point where about half of people with it need some sort of dyalisis or kidney transplant by age 60. The symptoms include high blood pressure, blood in the urine (which I've never had - yuck), pain in the back and sides, and fatigue.
So I pretty much counted on being diagnosed at some point in my life, because I have had all of those symptoms (except the blood/urine combo) since I was in college. But I just held it in the back of my mind and didn't think about it except whenever I felt something odd going on, or went to the doctor, etc. My grandmother had a kidney removed in her 50s; she died of pneumonia years later. My great-aunt died in her 80s, and my mother has never had much problem, other than the symptoms.
I got to see the ct, due to the fact that I work at the hospital, which is an interesting piece of technology, except when it is finding diseases. It basically takes pictures of your body in slices, which you can view progressively on a computer, as if you are travelling up or down through the body. According to the doctor's notes, mine vary and the largest ones are about 4 cm, which seems absurdly large, but my kidneys aren't enlarged, which is a good thing, because they eventually do.
Aside from that bit of wondrous news: I had the worst day possible on sunday at work, due to the fact that everyone decided to crack their skulls or die or fall down stairs or crush their arms or burn their hand, all within about 2 hours' time. And I was still sore from the previous two days of being in gi distress. Then on monday while working I received orders for an admission, which turned out to be my dad, who was admitted for an abcess in his colostomy (he had major surgery 2 weeks ago.) So he's in the hospital but doing fine I guess.
But the main event of the last few days has just been the constant thoughts going through my head about all this new shit that I have to deal with - being scared every time I feel pain now, etc., that it's my kidneys exploding or something. I also need to make some changes, such as quitting smoking and eating better, and cutting out caffeine, which is unimagineable and probably won't happen entirely. But I am going to see the doctor next week and get something for the smoking - as long as I don't gain 200 lbs., I think I can do it.......
AND, it just makes me contemplate life more than I ever had before, and what I want to do with the remains of it. In all honesty nothing has changed - I probably have the same lifespan expectancy of any other normal person, and there's all sorts of treatments in the works for this disease (although not a cure.) But now I realise that I need to start doing something REAL with my life; something I WANT to do, which doesn't include working a shit office job in a field I don't particularly like working in, and living in a shit village in an area that I despise (sorry to those of you from the area - but I have my own reasons.) More than ever, I feel motivated not only to enjoy life more, but to get the hell out of here, away from my loving but overbearing family, and do something completely different, because so far I haven't really found a niche. I like working in the non-profit industry, and my present job has some great benefits over and above the benefit of horrible stress. And I would continue doing it - as long as it were somewhere ELSE. I don't care how far I have to go, but I need a change of scenery and I need to live somewhere with people that are more open minded and have more on their minds than guns and hunting and Packers and LTD catalogs and snow-shovelling, all of which I despise.
So Bush had his State of the Union Address. Where the hell was I? I didn't know about it, which doesn't matter anyway. Because I wouldn't have watched it anyway, although I'm sure the Daily Show will have some good clips.
Mummified baby found wrapped in 1957 newspapers.
So if you want to be mummified at death, should you start keeping all your papers? A very odd story...
'Happy' years with abducted boy
I still don't get it. Did this pizza guy kidnap these two kids just so he had people to play video games with? It's certainly the most intriguing kidnapping story I've heard of. Except maybe Patricia Hearst - although her abduction I would call "campy" considering the fact that she later appeared in John Water's movies.
'Smoking gun' report to say global warming here
Apparently in February there's going to be a report released that proves global warming is going to lead to devastation. All I can say is it's certainly been good to us this winter! Yay for global warming! Or at least, yay for U.P. warming!!!
Which might explain this...
Northeast Stunned By Freak January Snowfall
The picture in the article just kills me.
And to end, I still love this fucking commercial and I don't know why, except for the fact that Kate Winslet is my only female crush......
I think I should get an American Express Card just for the extra advertising. Pleeeeasse?
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