Turn the damn lights off. It's over!

Yeah. So another Christmas is over, and the countdown begins for another one. I think this will be the third consecutive year that after the holiday was over, I told myself and others that I was finished celebrating Christmas. Yes, I said it again this year. Because it sucked.

First of all, we'll start with today - the day AFTER Christmas. I had to go to Iron Mountain - to stop at work to pick up my check which was supposed to be there, but wasn't (they screwed up my last two paychecks, and owed me quite a sum.) So I'll get that tomorrow. Fine. So I went to the bank to get some cash for the few things I needed today, and being the progressive anti-Walmart pauper that I am, I went to Walmart. Big mistake. I don't know how many people were in that store - my guess would be at least 12,328. It was recklessness, and of course I was there to add to the blob of consumerism. I suppose half the county probably received a Walmart Shopping Card as part of their gift-cache, so they were there to spend and look for sales. But I didn't see any sales - just crap loaded on top of shit, loaded on top of fecal matter, and the stuff that I needed - necessities like Diet Coke and soy sauce - was all out of kilter and understocked. I don't know how many times I had to turn around because an aisle was packed with evil carts. I don't know how many times I got brushed against or how long I waited in the god-awful line. But I do suggest that Walmart install some sort of interstate - like system in their stores, or at least stop signs and one-way arrows. And I suggest people just don't go there. Including me.

Anyway, yesterday was Christmas, and I worked. The after-hours clinic was closed, so we were operating in strictly Emergency Department mode. When the clinic is open, then all the stuffy noses and rashes go there, and the burden of registering them is taken off of me. But when it's not - well, I just get to work twice as hard. You would think that most people would abstain from going to the Emergency room on a holiday unless it was really an emergency, but not so. We had people with stuffy noses and congestion; people with toothaches (I know toothaches suck - but these people were smiling); children with life-threatening fevers of 101 degrees (the horror); and of course, a few people that actually needed to be there. But anyway, it was just a steady stream all evening long; I didn't get a break except to run down and get dinner, which was free because of the holiday and was supposedly a "special dinner." Well all they had left when I got there was chicken legs and scalloped potatoes. Chicken legs are not my thing. So I choked down the potatoes, along with a vegetable medley with some sort of hybrid yellow carrots. Scrumptious. Of course it took me a half hour to eat, because I had to keep stopping so that I could go register someone. I had one cigarette break at 10pm; by then, I was almost insane from the nic fits. Yes, I need to quit. But not on Christmas. I'm sure Jesus would understand.

Anyway, my "christmas" was on Christmas Eve. For various reasons, I have been at odds with my brother-in-law, who threatened to shoot me a couple weeks back (I won't go into that now). I have expected an apology from him since then, but have gotten none (he also called me a piece of shit, over and over. Fun!) Anyway, I told my sister and my mother that unless there was some sort of apology from him or make-up gesture, I didn't want to be there for Christmas if he was there, because it would just be awkward and I would literally spend the whole time just wanting to get up and punch the shit out of him.

(For what it's worth, my sister and my mother both told Mo that he needed to apologize to me, and that he was an asshole, plain and simple. But the apology never came. Oh woe.)

So I guess it was decided that there would be two celebrations - one with me, and one with him. Mine fell on Christmas Eve because I was off work, and since my sister and I both worked on Christmas Day , albeit different shifts, I figured that Christmas Eve would be our "real Christmas." So I was looking forward to it - I figured we would have the regular turkey dinner after opening our gifts and everything would be merry and precious. Then on Christmas day, my brother-in-law would receive his gifts and that would be the end of it.

Well I guess I was wrong. First off, when I got there on Christmas Eve, I didn't smell the turkey baking (although there was a pecan pie) but I didn't even think much of it. Perhaps my mother had decided to keep it simple this year, I thought, so no turkey. So instead we had some sort of Oriental Salad - which was good. One step over.

Then it was time to unwrap gifts, and what usually happens it that someone hands out the gifts and we open them, sort of taking turns. When I noticed that the only gifts taken from beneath the tree were the ones around my chair, I got suspicious. So I opened my first one, which was a small hand vacuum that was very nice. I said I needed that to clean the cat hair from my new couch. I waited because I figured then it was someone else's turn to open something. But nobody did, and my mother told me to open the next box. So finally I asked the question - why wasn't anyone else opening anything? Well then I got the answer that I knew was coming - -

"Well we're not opening anything until tomorrow - we' re just doing your gifts today."

So from that moment on, I just felt weird and on display, and very hot in the face. But I continued to open - I got some nice things - and that was it. Christmas for me was over I guess - except that there was the pecan pie - which is my favorite - and apparently I was supposed to eat a piece and then they were going to save the rest for the next day. I choked it down.

So my suspicions were raised then - I wondered, hmm......are they going to have a big traditional Christmas dinner tomorrow, while I'm at work eating old potatoes and hybrid carrots? I went and looked in the fridge, pretending to be looking for something to drink. And there it was - a big ham - thawed and ready to be cooked on "the big day." So then I asked my mother - "so are you making a big dinner tomorrow then?" and she just kind of smugly nodded.

So I took my gifts, put them in the car, sat around for a while, played with the nephew, who was all over me. Then my sister had to go to work. So then I left too, because I really just felt like the party was over and I was supposed to leave too, I guess.

Anyway, I had a big 'fight' on the phone with my mother over the whole ordeal; how Christmas for me wasn't about the presents at all; how I hadn't asked for nor expected much, but had looked forward to the usual Christmas. She just didn't seem to understand. And I still don't understand either. But my point was this - my brother-in-law is a big, pompous, loud jerk. And he's a muslim - who has been in this country for six years - so to him, Christmas is just something new and kinda fun. My mother says she just tolerates him because she watches the kids and has to deal with him when he comes to pick them up after work, etc. My sister bitches about him every day, and would leave him in a heartbeat if she could afford it. At least, that's what she says every other day. So why did he get the REAL christmas - while I just got the "make-up day Christmas" on the day before? It may sound like jealousy, and it probably is. Boo hoo for me. The only reason I got was that they figured Mo would want to watch the kids open presents.

Anyway, yesterday (on Christmas day) my mother called once in the morning and I was still half-asleep, so it was a short call and I figured she would call later. She never did. All I could think of all day was my whole family together having a big dinner, opening gifts, and having their little "merriment" while I was dealing with rashes, fevers, a broken copy machine, and crabby doctors. So it sucked. And maybe I'm just a big, 30-something baby who should just get over himself. Tell me if I'm wrong.

But then there is another kicker to the story. The gifts I got from my mother (who likes to spend more money than anyone else, and my dad doesn't buy anybody anything, except my mother usually) included the following:
The vacuum
a fleece blanket
A radar detector for my car
A wind-up flashlight

and a few other nice things. Today I found out that my brother-in-law got the following gifts:
A vacuum
A fleece blanket
A radar detector for his car
A wind-up flashlight.
and of course, a few other things, probably nice ones.

Wow, do I feel special. And I feel like a slight asshole for being so selfish. But today was my day off, and I just felt like wallowing myself in some self-pity for the moment, I guess. And I am over it now, because the day is past and as soon as the New Year begins, then things only look up, because I know that I won't have to think about it again for almost a year.

And like I said, this year I have said it again - no more Christmas. Sure, I'll take the holiday hours at work, and maybe eat some peanut brittle. And I'll probably just end up doing Christmas like usual again, and something will go wrong. Ah well. Time to just blank it out.

I apologize to anyone who made it through this whole self-pitying essay, and promise to me a little more upbeat next time. And I hope that everyone's Christmas was at least a little better than mine, because I know there could be far worse than what I had, and I don't wish that on anyone. Even muslims, unless they threaten to shoot me.