Those Foxhounds - they are hard to ignore. And I have left that job, and seldom even turn on my tv, but it's still almost impossible to escape those hooligans, because it's the most popular news channel in the US. There are two tvs in the Emergency Department waiting room (I call it the "Prison Commons") that are fixed so that they can't be turned to a high volume. But if someone turns on Fox News, I can hear it even if I'm totally consumed in paperwork and inundated with admissions for drunks with broken legs.
Anyway, I won't comment any further, because I just tend to blather. Well, yes I will So let's peruse today's pre-Christmas Fox News Online Headlines, and see how much "cheer" they have to spread, shall we?
Well just now, I had to wait while the Fox News website totally overwhelmed my computer and froze it up for a good five minutes. HOLY CRAP - MAYBE IT'S A TERRORIST PLOT AGAINST ME.
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Christmas Terror Plot
Report: CIA tips off Brits to Channel Tunnel threat
Tunnel beneath English Channel that connects Britain to France is holiday terror target of Islamic terrorists, Observer reports
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Bush Considers $10 Billion 'New Deal' to Accompany Troop Surge in Iraq
Rebuilding component to new Iraq strategy would create jobs to draw unemployed Iraqis away from insurgency
- I hate bullets, and don't know how to format, use them, or get rid of them. But anyway, notice the headline above and its brief opening statement doesn't include any lines like "according to sources" or "according to the Bush Administration." It is just stated as a fact. Like "Lysol Kills Germs." This is typical of how Fox reports in a "fair and balanced" manner - they just leave out anything that would throw their 'fair' opinion off balance.
Israel's $100M Peace Bid
Ehud Olmert meets Palestinian president, agrees to release $100 million in frozen funds and ease travel restrictions
Anything to make Israel look good. Because we must support Israel in every way possible, for some reason I have yet to understand. We must always remember to forget that there are two sides to every story. I am not anti-semitic in any way, but there's something fucked up about Israel and our relationship with it, and Saudi Arabia and our relationship with it, etc. It's a double-entendre, or an oxymoron, or a doppleganger, or something in that realm of opposite fancy-words - let's put it that way. But apparently Fox News and Bush do understand.Schwarzenegger Breaks Leg in Skiing Mishap
I bet he threatens to break a lot of other people's legs, too. He'll be back. I'm surprised Maria Shriver-Schwarzenegger doesn't break her legs just by walking across a room - she is the skinniest sack of osteo-porosal bones I've ever seen. Frightening, simply frightening.
Top Video
Real Free Speech
Drop the pretense, Hillary; Obama, keep your enemies close
"What? My kids can't sing "Away in a Manger" in the pagent this year? Billy Joe, hand me that bic lighter and my bottle of bourbon. I's gonna make a statement." Note - I didn't even read this article, so I have no idea whether I'm totally getting backwards or whatever, but I just can't imagine too many atheists setting themselves on fire, because they don't believe in an afterlife, so they would never get to find out what good they did by setting themself on fire in the first place. Does that make sense? I don't know.........what?
Rosie Trumps Donald
By Roger FriedmanSo, who's really more charitable, Donald Trump or Rosie O'Donnell?
Another Rosie O'Donnell mention. If a democratic/liberal/lesbian/overweight/loud/female type makes any kind of statement, the news must make sure to follow every step they make, in case they do or say something bad, and Rosie is now the liberal loose-lip of choice. In this case, it turned out that Rosie is more charitable, and that Trump mostly just hands over money to generic organizations like the United Way. I don't know what The United Way does. I am going to look into them. Because if Donald Trump is giving them lots of money.....hmmmmm...........
Dogging Diddy
Macy pulls hip-hop star's line of hooded jackets for containing dog furOH MY GOD! Is this true? I'm not going to even read into it for fear that I will lose it.....
Triple Threat
By Lisa BernhardJustin Timberlake set to make moves in music, fashion and film
I'm surprised this isn't followed by an article entitled "Doogie Howser and Lance Bass set to open abortion clinic for French Lesbians." I bet Justin Timberlake is a republican. Britney is.
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The O'Reilly Factor
Bill O'Reilly's Talking Points
What went right and what went wrong in 2006
- Nothing exciting about this, except why would they use such an unflattering picture of Bill O'Reilley? Or is that the face that makes all those conservative ladies swoon? And why are these bullets haunting me?
GRETAWIRE
Sharon Rocha's book takes you inside the pain caused by the murder of one's childNow there's a face that is not swoon-worthy at all. She looked better before the million-dollar makeover. She's a lesbian, and we all know it. The made-up word "GRETAWIRE" reminds me of some new hybrid electric barbed wire to put around dog kennels, so that Diddy won't take your dog. Quick change of subject -
Condoleezza Rice Says America is Ready for a Black President
Well it sure is. But do you really think black people will vote for her? She's the whitest black woman I've ever seen, and she doesn't have a nice booty. So shoot me for being horrible. But if she runs for president and all the sudden takes on an ebonics-enhanced accent, I will jump in Mt. St.. Helens.
Gibson Still OK
FOX Poll: Despite anti-Semitic rant, almost half of Americans still think Gibson's OKAnd half of Americans believe that the earth is 6000 years old. Well not half, but like a third. And the other half probably doesn't know what the word "semitic" means. But that Passion movie was just so moving........even though it was gorier than all of the "Scream" movies put together......
To be honest, the more I read this Fox website, the more I notice that they are attempting to take a chance with their viewers by noticing the recent election results, and reporting some bad things about the right. Which just shows that the news in this country, and probably everywhere, is driven by what the people want to hear. And like it or not, people want to hear about Justin Timberlake enough that he made it onto the front page of the news. So as long as the news entertains, then it satisfies the masses.
I would hate for people to think I am just a big liberal asshole or something, because really I'm not that liberal. I just get disgusted by mediocre news, and I want to hear some good news about really good things, not just made-up good news about bad things, like Iraq or Israel or Justin Timberlake, who I think is probably evil, although he's pretty hot. Except when he talks.
And although I despise the political Christian Right, I don't despise Christians at all. There's a nurse where I work, Amanda, who happens to be very hard-core into her faith; and she handed out loaves of banana bread tonight with a "Gospel of John" strapped to them with ribbon. You would never know that she was from Northland Bible College, except for the fact that she's really pretty, and for some reason, all the girls from Northland are pretty and the guys are hot. Weird. Anyway - She enclosed a note that said that she wanted to find copies of this gospel that didn't have all these side-notes about Christian living etc., but couldn't find them (It's a mini book with the full text of the fourth book of the new testament, with all these notes thrown in for how to live a "christian' life.). So she said to just concentrate on the text itself, and skip the opinions of the editor. Which I thought was kind of cool, because at least she is saying, in some little way, that we should interpret what we read in our own way, and not the way we are told is the "right" way to interpret it. If there were only a way to get our news without the hidden "opinions of the editor."
Ok, enough - the Fox News tab keeps refreshing itself, which in turn locks up my computer for a few seconds, which in turn makes me frustrated, which in turn makes me want to stop ranting for now. I think I'll go cuddle with Eddie, who wears cruelty-free dog fur.
Have a great holiday all -
Doug
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