Cute hey?
According to history, The Infant of Prague was a statue of Jesus as a child, in a cathedral in Prague, dressed in JonBenet Ramsey attire, and worshipped and adored by all. Then those crazy Lutherans took the statue away during the Reformation , but then they gave it back and all was well. So to this day, the Infant of Prague is famous throughout the world as a devotional figure, and is reproduced in all sorts of artistic forms - statues, dolls, paintings, and the like. And his garb can vary - from Fashion Granny to full-blown Cher-in-Bob-Maki. Just do a google image search - there's a lot of designer outfits for the Infant of Prague. It's a disturbing tradition that delights me in its oddness.
I wonder what Jerry Falwell has to say about the fact that Jesus walked around as a child in stunning, sensational, striking lacy dresses and carried an orb? I guess it was Mary's fault then, since homos "learn" their behavior.
Anyway, my message tonight was supposed to have nothing to do with Jesus or his weird clothing fetishes. (For those of you that are thinking that I will be going to hell - it's too late. I already bought the ticket.)
I have been pondering many things in the last few days - mainly historical events of my life that went sour - and the implications they have wrought. For all the people out there that say "Live your life one day at a time" or "Just wing it and live on the edge" or "life is short" or anything else that is cliche-ish, I would like to say this - it's not always a good idea. When I went to college for the first time, I didn't go soully for the goal of getting a high-quality education to further my career goals and prospects for the future. I mainly went to get the hell away from my family, and to finally have the social life I never had. So although I loved my music classes and the people in them, I did just terrible. Because for some reason, I was never the type of person to think ahead. Life was always about the one moment I was in, and maybe the next few hours after that. So yeah, I went from class to class, switched majors twice, and failed out miserably. Sure, I have about 80 credits behind me, but they are a modge-podge of this and that, and not much of it is applicable toward any kind of degree that is plausible.
A person who majors in music goes through hell - sheer hell. There is so much more to music than what you hear on the radio and in comedic commercials. When you study music, you study music theory, form, and analysis, which is the equivalent of geometry, trigonometry, and calculus. If you decide to take a few years off from being a music major, you can't just hop back on board. That would be like going back to school at age 40 and taking advanced physics - you would be lost and screwed. Plus, no matter what your focus is, you MUST choose an instrument to focus on, and you MUST master that instrument. And I was terrible at practicing, although I did get to a pretty good point in my piano skills. But the years have taken much of that away. Bummer.
Anyway, I have never given up my goal of finishing school. And my goal has always centered around music. But in my present state of time, mind, and place, that is almost impossible. So my plans are this - go to the local, prestigiously-deficient community college, and get an associate of arts degree that is preparatory for a bachelors degree in a field at another, larger college. My house will be paid off in two years - then I can move, and I can rent it out.
Anyway, as a kid I wanted to be one thing - a pharmacist. They got to play with medicine, which I thought was cool, and they made good money. Well, I've decided that that is out of the picture. Because although I would like that money, I don't think I could stand behind a Walmart-Walgreens-Kmart counter for the rest of my life counting pills and thinking back on the six years that I spent preparing for this. Really - yuck!
Then, when I really got into music, I wanted to be a musician - preferably one in a huge famous orchestra, or as a composer. I know music is my strongest point - and I am very musically inclined. But I just don't think that's a good move to make now, and I just can't. There's nothing close to here, short of Marquette, that offers music classes. And Marquette is 100 miles away.
So my main area of focus right now, as far as what career I'd like to work toward - is psychology. There are many reasons for this, some good and some just childish. But I love psychology - people that are weird are fascinating. I worked with crazy people for almost 4 years and just loved it. I would love to be a clinical psychologist with a couch in my office, and try to make people feel better about themselves. Also, it's a major that is available all over the place, and it is easily expandable - you can add a master's in psychology, or whatever else you wish, then go on to get a PhD if you want, or go to med school and be a psychiatrist - whatever. But one thing is for sure - if I go and get an associates degree in psychology - I've already got half the credits. And if I decide that I made a mistake - fine - so be it - I can change my major because I'm basically going to be taking liberal arts classes for the most part anyway that will apply to other things. And psychology classes are very often available online - because it's a study for the most part, not something practical and hands-on like music.
And nobody out there can tell me that psychology isn't a lucrative field. I know from experience that people are getting crazier by the day. Like the guy who came into Emergency tonight because he popped a pimple on his face and it got swollen. That's crazy! Or maybe he was just dumb.
There's a lot of things that have happened recently that have driven me toward making a decision to go back to school. First of all, I work in a hospital now. This is really the first place I have worked where there is a real heirarchy to the employment roster, and people with degrees are, with all due respect, more IMPORTANT and PAID MORE than us wee people at the bottom. I mean, we are paid quite well, and get very good benefits, but seriously - an RN who went to school for only 2 years makes over twice what I make. The doctors - oh my fucking god - I couldn't even imagine what they are banking. I have always known I was intelligent, but when working in an environment where people with degrees are treated as the intelligent ones, I feel like the court jester. And I hate that feeling, especially when someone higher-up deliberately MAKES you feel inferior. When people degrade me, I want to do mean things to them, seriously!
Second, now that I do have some credentials - being an EMT and a firefighter - I know what it feels like to have credentials, and to want more. I don't think I could go on to be a paramedic, because of my phobia of intravenous needles - but I love knowing that I could go back and take another 9 months of classes and double my income. It's tempting, but it's not what I want to do. And what I want to do is do what I want to do, for a change, if that makes sense. I feel like I've been walked on like a carpet for years, and I want to make changes.
So yeah, that was my semi-manic think-out-loud part of the blog. Anybody have input? Ideas? Money?
Enough on that - my mother called me and told me an interesting story. I don't have garbage service at my new house - I mean, I could - but you have to buy tags for the garbage, and I haven't learned where to get those yet, or even bothered to try to learn, so my garbage has piled up a bit. I've been bringing it over weekly to my mother's house, and putting out a couple of my bags with hers. I'm sure it's illegal at the most, and against garbage company policy at the least, but it's harmless. I mean, my mother doesn't exactly have a ton of garbage in the first place, yet she pays the same as a family of 12 would, so anyway.
So anyway, on monday morning I guess my mother happened to look out the front window and saw the garbage truck pulled up to pick up the garbage. And apparently she noticed that the garbage man had seemingly ripped open one of the garbage bags and was looking through it! I guess she didn't think too much of it at the time, except for maybe the fact that it was a bit strange, but it's garbage - who the hell cares?
Well anyway, yesterday my mother gets a call from a lady at Great American Disposal - fancy name for "the dump" - who called to tell her that she should check and make sure her neighbor isn't putting his garbage with hers, because his name was found on some items in the garbage. My mom was shocked I guess, but didn't say much during that call except a made-up story that she had cleaned out her garage.
Then her Irish temper started raging, and she called back and I'm sure she really let the lady have it. Really - who the hell wants to find out that their garbage man is looking through their garbage? My garbage bags were black, and she uses the white kitchen-type bags - so obviously there was a difference. But wouldn't any homeowner have the right to switch bags? Wouldn't this be an invasion of privacy, or does the garbage company technically "own" your garbage as soon as they take it? Is it the Patriot Act? Did George and Donald order the garbage men to look for signs of "nucular" material in residential filth?
So that was a lesson learned, because I've never cared that much about what I throw away. I mean, I wouldn't exactly throw out whole checkbooks and credit cards, but junk mail or bills that I don't pay have always ended up in the garbage. I think I will change my strategy, and so should you, if you are as idiotic as I am. I will either burn all my paper stuff, because I can, or I will buy a shredder. Or just chew all the paper up. No, icky.
Ahh, stunning.
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