Not much to say on this - just watch it.....
By the way, that's not really John Howard, the Prime Minister of Australia. That would cost too much of Queen Elizabeth's money, production-wise.......
My favourite answer is when the guy is asked if he boycotts French products, and he gives the bullshit line "Actually not boycotting them, but not going out of our way to look for them." As if he used to run around Texas looking for Frenchy-stuff.
25 January 2007
24 January 2007
A serious blog about seriously serious and nonsensically unserious issues
Yeah, I haven't really written one in a while. I have had plenty of time but just have had things on my mind, and so much crazy shit going on, kind of like stones being flung during a good Iranian stoning (which wouldn't be good at all - ick - the image of that just makes me nauseated...)
Anyway, I can can officially say I have a disease - yay for disease!
First of all, I was sick for a couple days last week - gastrointestinal issues. I went to the doctor, who actually wasn't a doctor but a nurse practitioner, and I don't like her. But my doctor was too booked and I needed to get in because I was getting close to explosion. She just sort of blew it off as irritable bowel, and gave me some miralax (which isn't really what you think, but the name sure sounds like it) which I took the next day. I felt fine all evening, until a wave of just horrible pain overtook me so fast that I thought the miralax had been replaced with mirror shards.
Anyway, went to the Emergency Department (which I was hesitant about, during massive pain, just because I knew I would be examined by people I work with!) and had all the tests, got an iv and some drugs, and was put through a ct scan. That's quite an interesting piece of science-fictional machinery - and there's a lovely drink that you ingest first that is like a koolaid tonic - but you have to drink two giant cups of it and when your stomach is already about to burst.....ouch. Then just prior to being slowly missiled into this revolving tunnel of magnets, the technician injects you with the "contrast dye" which is the oddest sensation ever. You feel this coldness going in and then in an instant your whole body is hot, and your mouth feels like you just swallowed fire. But it only lasts an instant.
Anyway, it turned out that I had a very distended large intestine. But the doctor very bluntly stated that the pain was coming from the fact that I have polycystic kidneys and liver, and the pressure in my abdomen was pushing on them and causing these intense pains. So right there, I found out what I had been dreading for YEARS.
My mother has polycystic kidney disease, which is an autosomal dominant condition. This means that if you have a parent with the disease, you have a 50/50 chance of having it yourself. My older sister Patti had already been diagnosed - it's one of those diseases that is "discovered" whilst undergoing tests for something else usually, which is how my mother and my sister both found out, just like me. My mother's mother had it, as did her sister, and both of her kids also have it, as well as some of their kids (my cousins, but whether they are first, second, removed, etc., I just don't know.) It is basically a defective gene thing where the kidneys grow all these cysts on themselves, and it can also affect your liver, pancreas, spleen, and rarely the heart and brain. It varies among individuals, but basically it starts developing in your teen years and gets worse as you age, to the point where about half of people with it need some sort of dyalisis or kidney transplant by age 60. The symptoms include high blood pressure, blood in the urine (which I've never had - yuck), pain in the back and sides, and fatigue.
So I pretty much counted on being diagnosed at some point in my life, because I have had all of those symptoms (except the blood/urine combo) since I was in college. But I just held it in the back of my mind and didn't think about it except whenever I felt something odd going on, or went to the doctor, etc. My grandmother had a kidney removed in her 50s; she died of pneumonia years later. My great-aunt died in her 80s, and my mother has never had much problem, other than the symptoms.
I got to see the ct, due to the fact that I work at the hospital, which is an interesting piece of technology, except when it is finding diseases. It basically takes pictures of your body in slices, which you can view progressively on a computer, as if you are travelling up or down through the body. According to the doctor's notes, mine vary and the largest ones are about 4 cm, which seems absurdly large, but my kidneys aren't enlarged, which is a good thing, because they eventually do.
Aside from that bit of wondrous news: I had the worst day possible on sunday at work, due to the fact that everyone decided to crack their skulls or die or fall down stairs or crush their arms or burn their hand, all within about 2 hours' time. And I was still sore from the previous two days of being in gi distress. Then on monday while working I received orders for an admission, which turned out to be my dad, who was admitted for an abcess in his colostomy (he had major surgery 2 weeks ago.) So he's in the hospital but doing fine I guess.
But the main event of the last few days has just been the constant thoughts going through my head about all this new shit that I have to deal with - being scared every time I feel pain now, etc., that it's my kidneys exploding or something. I also need to make some changes, such as quitting smoking and eating better, and cutting out caffeine, which is unimagineable and probably won't happen entirely. But I am going to see the doctor next week and get something for the smoking - as long as I don't gain 200 lbs., I think I can do it.......
AND, it just makes me contemplate life more than I ever had before, and what I want to do with the remains of it. In all honesty nothing has changed - I probably have the same lifespan expectancy of any other normal person, and there's all sorts of treatments in the works for this disease (although not a cure.) But now I realise that I need to start doing something REAL with my life; something I WANT to do, which doesn't include working a shit office job in a field I don't particularly like working in, and living in a shit village in an area that I despise (sorry to those of you from the area - but I have my own reasons.) More than ever, I feel motivated not only to enjoy life more, but to get the hell out of here, away from my loving but overbearing family, and do something completely different, because so far I haven't really found a niche. I like working in the non-profit industry, and my present job has some great benefits over and above the benefit of horrible stress. And I would continue doing it - as long as it were somewhere ELSE. I don't care how far I have to go, but I need a change of scenery and I need to live somewhere with people that are more open minded and have more on their minds than guns and hunting and Packers and LTD catalogs and snow-shovelling, all of which I despise.
So Bush had his State of the Union Address. Where the hell was I? I didn't know about it, which doesn't matter anyway. Because I wouldn't have watched it anyway, although I'm sure the Daily Show will have some good clips.
Mummified baby found wrapped in 1957 newspapers.
So if you want to be mummified at death, should you start keeping all your papers? A very odd story...
'Happy' years with abducted boy
I still don't get it. Did this pizza guy kidnap these two kids just so he had people to play video games with? It's certainly the most intriguing kidnapping story I've heard of. Except maybe Patricia Hearst - although her abduction I would call "campy" considering the fact that she later appeared in John Water's movies.
'Smoking gun' report to say global warming here
Apparently in February there's going to be a report released that proves global warming is going to lead to devastation. All I can say is it's certainly been good to us this winter! Yay for global warming! Or at least, yay for U.P. warming!!!
Which might explain this...
Northeast Stunned By Freak January Snowfall
The picture in the article just kills me.
And to end, I still love this fucking commercial and I don't know why, except for the fact that Kate Winslet is my only female crush......
I think I should get an American Express Card just for the extra advertising. Pleeeeasse?
Anyway, I can can officially say I have a disease - yay for disease!
First of all, I was sick for a couple days last week - gastrointestinal issues. I went to the doctor, who actually wasn't a doctor but a nurse practitioner, and I don't like her. But my doctor was too booked and I needed to get in because I was getting close to explosion. She just sort of blew it off as irritable bowel, and gave me some miralax (which isn't really what you think, but the name sure sounds like it) which I took the next day. I felt fine all evening, until a wave of just horrible pain overtook me so fast that I thought the miralax had been replaced with mirror shards.
Anyway, went to the Emergency Department (which I was hesitant about, during massive pain, just because I knew I would be examined by people I work with!) and had all the tests, got an iv and some drugs, and was put through a ct scan. That's quite an interesting piece of science-fictional machinery - and there's a lovely drink that you ingest first that is like a koolaid tonic - but you have to drink two giant cups of it and when your stomach is already about to burst.....ouch. Then just prior to being slowly missiled into this revolving tunnel of magnets, the technician injects you with the "contrast dye" which is the oddest sensation ever. You feel this coldness going in and then in an instant your whole body is hot, and your mouth feels like you just swallowed fire. But it only lasts an instant.
Anyway, it turned out that I had a very distended large intestine. But the doctor very bluntly stated that the pain was coming from the fact that I have polycystic kidneys and liver, and the pressure in my abdomen was pushing on them and causing these intense pains. So right there, I found out what I had been dreading for YEARS.
My mother has polycystic kidney disease, which is an autosomal dominant condition. This means that if you have a parent with the disease, you have a 50/50 chance of having it yourself. My older sister Patti had already been diagnosed - it's one of those diseases that is "discovered" whilst undergoing tests for something else usually, which is how my mother and my sister both found out, just like me. My mother's mother had it, as did her sister, and both of her kids also have it, as well as some of their kids (my cousins, but whether they are first, second, removed, etc., I just don't know.) It is basically a defective gene thing where the kidneys grow all these cysts on themselves, and it can also affect your liver, pancreas, spleen, and rarely the heart and brain. It varies among individuals, but basically it starts developing in your teen years and gets worse as you age, to the point where about half of people with it need some sort of dyalisis or kidney transplant by age 60. The symptoms include high blood pressure, blood in the urine (which I've never had - yuck), pain in the back and sides, and fatigue.
So I pretty much counted on being diagnosed at some point in my life, because I have had all of those symptoms (except the blood/urine combo) since I was in college. But I just held it in the back of my mind and didn't think about it except whenever I felt something odd going on, or went to the doctor, etc. My grandmother had a kidney removed in her 50s; she died of pneumonia years later. My great-aunt died in her 80s, and my mother has never had much problem, other than the symptoms.
I got to see the ct, due to the fact that I work at the hospital, which is an interesting piece of technology, except when it is finding diseases. It basically takes pictures of your body in slices, which you can view progressively on a computer, as if you are travelling up or down through the body. According to the doctor's notes, mine vary and the largest ones are about 4 cm, which seems absurdly large, but my kidneys aren't enlarged, which is a good thing, because they eventually do.
Aside from that bit of wondrous news: I had the worst day possible on sunday at work, due to the fact that everyone decided to crack their skulls or die or fall down stairs or crush their arms or burn their hand, all within about 2 hours' time. And I was still sore from the previous two days of being in gi distress. Then on monday while working I received orders for an admission, which turned out to be my dad, who was admitted for an abcess in his colostomy (he had major surgery 2 weeks ago.) So he's in the hospital but doing fine I guess.
But the main event of the last few days has just been the constant thoughts going through my head about all this new shit that I have to deal with - being scared every time I feel pain now, etc., that it's my kidneys exploding or something. I also need to make some changes, such as quitting smoking and eating better, and cutting out caffeine, which is unimagineable and probably won't happen entirely. But I am going to see the doctor next week and get something for the smoking - as long as I don't gain 200 lbs., I think I can do it.......
AND, it just makes me contemplate life more than I ever had before, and what I want to do with the remains of it. In all honesty nothing has changed - I probably have the same lifespan expectancy of any other normal person, and there's all sorts of treatments in the works for this disease (although not a cure.) But now I realise that I need to start doing something REAL with my life; something I WANT to do, which doesn't include working a shit office job in a field I don't particularly like working in, and living in a shit village in an area that I despise (sorry to those of you from the area - but I have my own reasons.) More than ever, I feel motivated not only to enjoy life more, but to get the hell out of here, away from my loving but overbearing family, and do something completely different, because so far I haven't really found a niche. I like working in the non-profit industry, and my present job has some great benefits over and above the benefit of horrible stress. And I would continue doing it - as long as it were somewhere ELSE. I don't care how far I have to go, but I need a change of scenery and I need to live somewhere with people that are more open minded and have more on their minds than guns and hunting and Packers and LTD catalogs and snow-shovelling, all of which I despise.
So Bush had his State of the Union Address. Where the hell was I? I didn't know about it, which doesn't matter anyway. Because I wouldn't have watched it anyway, although I'm sure the Daily Show will have some good clips.
Mummified baby found wrapped in 1957 newspapers.
So if you want to be mummified at death, should you start keeping all your papers? A very odd story...
'Happy' years with abducted boy
I still don't get it. Did this pizza guy kidnap these two kids just so he had people to play video games with? It's certainly the most intriguing kidnapping story I've heard of. Except maybe Patricia Hearst - although her abduction I would call "campy" considering the fact that she later appeared in John Water's movies.
'Smoking gun' report to say global warming here
Apparently in February there's going to be a report released that proves global warming is going to lead to devastation. All I can say is it's certainly been good to us this winter! Yay for global warming! Or at least, yay for U.P. warming!!!
Which might explain this...
Northeast Stunned By Freak January Snowfall
The picture in the article just kills me.
And to end, I still love this fucking commercial and I don't know why, except for the fact that Kate Winslet is my only female crush......
I think I should get an American Express Card just for the extra advertising. Pleeeeasse?
09 January 2007
Crankiness
I have the day off on tuesday, after working five days in a row. I guess most people would look at that statement and say "so the f what?" but I REALLY need a day off. Working in the Emergency Department can go from a breeze to complete and utter havoc in 2 seconds. Yesterday I was breathing a sigh of relief after a long wave of registering patient after patient. Then somebody came in. Then another. In 5 minutes I watched 8 people walk in the front door to be treated. That might not mean much to most people. But you must consider the fact that it takes about 10 minutes to get a person registered, after which it is probably safe to say the average treatment time would be at least an hour. So in 8 minutes I was given 80 minutes of work, which didn't include the fact that more people walked in after that short period. It just went on and on, without stop. And then there are the admissions, the babies born, the pregnant women and girls who come in for tests, the various vials of urine that I have to register and send for tests, and other odd jobs. Nothing happens on any certain schedule of regularity - it just gets thrown at you in big globs - like a shit-throwing monkey. What a poor analogy.
So anyway, this was my first five-day stretch. I usually work three days on, then one off, then four on, two off, etc. I feel like I was trampled in a riotous Spanish soccer tournament. Maybe I'm just a big pussy, but that's fine with me. Wah, wah, wah. There's a reason that most of the nurses down there work 12 hour shifts - then they only work 3 days a week. Same with the doctors. So this five-day thing isn't for the birds.
I think the most irritating thing about my job is dealing with the hoardes of people who come in for treatment who do NOT need to be treated. At least, they don't have to be treated in an Emergeny Room. Sniffles, cold sores, and rashes can be dealt with by using Sudafed, caution, and hydrocortisone. But if you go to the ED to deal with them, you accrue a bill of at least $200.00. That's just insane. And the big wammer of all is the fact that a lot of these people don't pay! We live in a country where there is no universal health coverage, so people without insurance go to Emergency whenever they get damaged, diseased, or want Vicodin. Then the bill comes, and it equals four weeks worth of work, and it doesn't get paid. So there's no wonder why it costs so much for health insurance here, and for services rendered - because you are paying for yourself and all the people that didn't pay! In fact, most people WITH health insurance don't get free care in an Emergency room situation - they must first prove that the treatment was necessary and an 'emergency', and then they usually still have to pay at least a percentage of the bill. And do you think they pay it? Some maybe do.
That may sound like an argument in favor of the conservatives, but it's not. It's an argument for the fact that we should just square up to the fact that we're the only country without universal healthcare in the free, developed world, and we should just revolutionize and do the deed.
Anyway, that was my little political fanfare for the day. I'm tired and crabby and my day off has started, and I plan to spend at least 8 hours of it sleeping. But in the meantime, here's another long political rant - in the form of a movie. It's full length, but you might want to check out at least some of it before you go buy your next pair of 2 dollar slippers.
So anyway, this was my first five-day stretch. I usually work three days on, then one off, then four on, two off, etc. I feel like I was trampled in a riotous Spanish soccer tournament. Maybe I'm just a big pussy, but that's fine with me. Wah, wah, wah. There's a reason that most of the nurses down there work 12 hour shifts - then they only work 3 days a week. Same with the doctors. So this five-day thing isn't for the birds.
I think the most irritating thing about my job is dealing with the hoardes of people who come in for treatment who do NOT need to be treated. At least, they don't have to be treated in an Emergeny Room. Sniffles, cold sores, and rashes can be dealt with by using Sudafed, caution, and hydrocortisone. But if you go to the ED to deal with them, you accrue a bill of at least $200.00. That's just insane. And the big wammer of all is the fact that a lot of these people don't pay! We live in a country where there is no universal health coverage, so people without insurance go to Emergency whenever they get damaged, diseased, or want Vicodin. Then the bill comes, and it equals four weeks worth of work, and it doesn't get paid. So there's no wonder why it costs so much for health insurance here, and for services rendered - because you are paying for yourself and all the people that didn't pay! In fact, most people WITH health insurance don't get free care in an Emergency room situation - they must first prove that the treatment was necessary and an 'emergency', and then they usually still have to pay at least a percentage of the bill. And do you think they pay it? Some maybe do.
That may sound like an argument in favor of the conservatives, but it's not. It's an argument for the fact that we should just square up to the fact that we're the only country without universal healthcare in the free, developed world, and we should just revolutionize and do the deed.
Anyway, that was my little political fanfare for the day. I'm tired and crabby and my day off has started, and I plan to spend at least 8 hours of it sleeping. But in the meantime, here's another long political rant - in the form of a movie. It's full length, but you might want to check out at least some of it before you go buy your next pair of 2 dollar slippers.
07 January 2007
Britons to be scanned for FBI database
I just came across this on The Guardian website. Here's a few choice excerpts....
The Observer has established that under new plans to combat terrorism, the US government will demand that visitors have all 10 fingers scanned when they enter the country. The information will be shared with intelligence agencies, including the FBI, with no restrictions on their international use.
Countries subject to the new scheme include Britain, other European Union nations, Japan, Australia and New Zealand.
Britons already have their credit card details and email accounts inspected by the American authorities following a deal between the EU and the Department of Homeland Security. Now passengers face having all their credit card transactions traced when using one to book a flight. And travellers giving an email address to an airline will be open to having all messages they send and receive from that address scrutinised.
I don't know about you, but I feel totally naked now.
Read the whole article here .....
The GUARDIAN
If you found this depressing, horrifying, or whatever, then maybe this will cheer you up. I am embarrassed to say it did me!
AMERICAN IDOL TWO-NIGHT SEASON PREMIERE JANUARY 16 AND 17
YAY for another four months of shameless meat-marketing!
The Observer has established that under new plans to combat terrorism, the US government will demand that visitors have all 10 fingers scanned when they enter the country. The information will be shared with intelligence agencies, including the FBI, with no restrictions on their international use.
Countries subject to the new scheme include Britain, other European Union nations, Japan, Australia and New Zealand.
Britons already have their credit card details and email accounts inspected by the American authorities following a deal between the EU and the Department of Homeland Security. Now passengers face having all their credit card transactions traced when using one to book a flight. And travellers giving an email address to an airline will be open to having all messages they send and receive from that address scrutinised.
I don't know about you, but I feel totally naked now.
Read the whole article here .....
The GUARDIAN
If you found this depressing, horrifying, or whatever, then maybe this will cheer you up. I am embarrassed to say it did me!
AMERICAN IDOL TWO-NIGHT SEASON PREMIERE JANUARY 16 AND 17
YAY for another four months of shameless meat-marketing!
06 January 2007
Trouble Hiding in the Bushes.
Apparently I confused-and-or offended some people in my other blog about Laura Bush and her blood-shitting. I guess the thought of a former-democratic Texan mouse-wife sitting on the toilet and analyzing her toilet paper just isn't appetizing, or else it steals away from her doe-eyed glamour. (Click here to see the controversial cover.)
TO MAKE IT CLEAR - that was a front-page shot from The Onion, which is a parody newspaper that is published both in print and online. Kind of a no-holds-barred comedic attack on everything in the political, pop culture, and general American world. Here's a link so that you can decide whether you are enthralled or appalled...........
TO MAKE IT CLEAR - that was a front-page shot from The Onion, which is a parody newspaper that is published both in print and online. Kind of a no-holds-barred comedic attack on everything in the political, pop culture, and general American world. Here's a link so that you can decide whether you are enthralled or appalled...........
THE ONION
Actually that picture was from the Sunday Magazine insert of the Onion. For your pleasure/horror, I present some more.
This one is the best - - - - - -- -
You can view them all here - SUNDAY MAGAZINE
Tonight I caught a brief bit of the local news, which should only be brief, because nothing really happens here. Anyway, it was WLUC TV-6, and Greg Trick (who must be getting the Barbara Hershey collagen lip-injections or something) reported on two men falling through the ice on a lake in Delta County.
WHO THE FUCK IS OUT ON THE ICE RIGHT NOW? IT HAS BEEN IN THE FORTIES FOR TWO WEEKS! WE HAVE NO SNOW! FUCKING IDIOTS!
Ok, I just wanted to swear a little. But we've also had all these skiing accidents at the hospital, and I don't get that either, because I would imagine that any 'snow' on the slopes would be just ice, or like a Slushee with no flavor.
I'm watching MARS ATTACKS right now. Anybody who does not understand this movie's comedic intent needs to go back to funny school.
I have three more days of my five-day stretch working at the hospital. If you are reading this, please don't come in! As much as I love you, we just don't need any more customers right now.
Here's one more picture of a family photo I'm working on. This one is in bad shape. That's my Great-Grandmother Harvey on the left, and my great-great aunt (the one in the previous picture.)
This one is the best - - - - - -- -
You can view them all here - SUNDAY MAGAZINE
Tonight I caught a brief bit of the local news, which should only be brief, because nothing really happens here. Anyway, it was WLUC TV-6, and Greg Trick (who must be getting the Barbara Hershey collagen lip-injections or something) reported on two men falling through the ice on a lake in Delta County.
WHO THE FUCK IS OUT ON THE ICE RIGHT NOW? IT HAS BEEN IN THE FORTIES FOR TWO WEEKS! WE HAVE NO SNOW! FUCKING IDIOTS!
Ok, I just wanted to swear a little. But we've also had all these skiing accidents at the hospital, and I don't get that either, because I would imagine that any 'snow' on the slopes would be just ice, or like a Slushee with no flavor.
I'm watching MARS ATTACKS right now. Anybody who does not understand this movie's comedic intent needs to go back to funny school.
I have three more days of my five-day stretch working at the hospital. If you are reading this, please don't come in! As much as I love you, we just don't need any more customers right now.
Here's one more picture of a family photo I'm working on. This one is in bad shape. That's my Great-Grandmother Harvey on the left, and my great-great aunt (the one in the previous picture.)
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