A picture of my new nephew Oliver, in Christmas Garb.
There, that's it. No more Christmas. AAAAHHHhhhhh.
31 December 2006
29 December 2006
Seventy Questions Stolen from Patrick, stolen from Mike
No real news today. Work was rather fun - my sister was there, the one person who really irks me wasn't, and nothing traumatic or tumultuous happened. It has finally snowed and I'm sure it is probably here to stay now, although it is a paltry layer of slushy stuff. Saddam Hussein is dead. Are we supposed to be happy? What exactly did that accomplish? I'm not a big Christian, but didn't Jesus basically abolish the "eye for an eye" principle? As evil as he probably was - I just can't look at the death of anyone as being, in the words of Martha Stewart - "a good thing." But who knows, and I am too far removed from the situation to make a deep political statement. But now they have pictures coming out, and I can hardly see that as being very helpful to anyone's cause.
Of course there's also good news - Chinese Scientists have scientifically bred fluorescent green pigs! Yeah! Oh, it's something to do with stem cell research. So I'm sure someone will find something wrong with the whole thing. DAMMIT! I WANT A FLUORESCENT GREEN PIG!!!!!
Now on to another long, unneeded survey.
At some point, these will become boring for me (I'm sure you're beyond that point.) Until then.......
Of course there's also good news - Chinese Scientists have scientifically bred fluorescent green pigs! Yeah! Oh, it's something to do with stem cell research. So I'm sure someone will find something wrong with the whole thing. DAMMIT! I WANT A FLUORESCENT GREEN PIG!!!!!
Now on to another long, unneeded survey.
At some point, these will become boring for me (I'm sure you're beyond that point.) Until then.......
| 1) PICK ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? I have many - but on the top of my head, I have a mess of little scars from bumping my head on the pipes in the dairy barn that I worked in, whilst with the ex. 2) WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Nasty, ugly seventies panelling, in a dark but phony brown, set against the beautiful curtains that my mother made for me. 3) WHAT IS ON YOUR RIGHT? My wonderful, comfy new sectional couch, with Eddie plopped right in the middle. 4) WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? I go through manic little phases. Right now I'm turning back to a lot of ambient sort of indie-pop, although for a while I was in this classical phase,which still isn't quite over. 5) DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? No. Sometime in the evening. 6) WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? I would like an inner contentment and an outward ease with my situation in the world. I guess just for things to get easier. 7) WHAT DO YOU MISS AT TIMES? Companionship, summer, the younger days......... 8) WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION? I'm not a huge material type. But I guess my house. I wouldn't call my cats and Eddie possessions, but companions, and they always make me happy:) 9) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Lavender, the smell of rain, the beach on a good day. 10) DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Only in crowds. I tend to like being closed-in when by myself. 11) IF YOU DIED TOMORROW? I would want to watch what the process is that they do with the body. Creepy, but I don't really want to think about it any other way. 12) THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? My mother, although I don't think she was out to make me cry. I just cried. 13) What is your favorite cologne/perfume? Right now I have a collection of cheap body sprays, of which I just pick and spray. Kind of a random effort. 14) WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Long, light in colour, and usually up in some fashion, although someone who wears it up ALL the time suddenly looks very sexy with it down. 15) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT? Oh cripe. Probably post-fight/argument of some sort. Like a "let's make up - do you wanna get hitched?" kinda thing. 16) DO YOU LIKE PORN? In a purely erotic sense - it's not necessarily something that gets my rocks off... 17) WHAT ARE YOUR FIVE FAVORITE MOVIES? I don't usually think up favorites lists, and recently haven't watched many. Beautiful Thing, American Beauty, Titanic (hah), The Christopher Guest/Eugene Levy Mocumentaries, Gone With The Wind..... 18) WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF GOING FOR YOUR HONEYMOON? Realistically, it would probably be somewhere close, boring and cheap. Ideally, somewhere in the South Pacific. 19) WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD? My mother. 20) DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE? I took five years of French, but haven't used it much in a long while. I even taught my dog a few words, hehee, which he still knows (i just perked his ears up) 21) WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX ): Good lord, I don't know/remember. 22) WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SINGER(s)? Hmm, I like simple voices that aren't put-upon, so Ben Folds, Judy Garland, Scott Weiland, Rufus Wainwright, Sting (of old), Alanis Morissette, kd lang, Garth Brooks. 23) WHAT KIND OF BOOKS DO YOU LIKE TO READ? Mostly non-fiction, informational books, biographies. 24) FAVORITE DESSERT: Lemon Meringue Pie 25) WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PHRASE? What the hell? 26) WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? Yes. I think nine times out of ten, people don't realize their true love for someone until that person is gone or leaving. Not that there wasn't love, but a really deep love. 27) WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Well it didn't work with the ex. But I think just doing little things that they don't expect, but that are just little reminders that you care. Buying someting small that made you think of them, cooking them something special, just surprising them with what they didn't expect but what lets them know that you were thinking of them. 28) SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: Sixteen 29) BLONDES, REDHEADS OR BRUNETTES? Not picky. Sometimes a redhead can be so fricking hot though! 30) WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Living in a country that calls itself "free" and yet destroys the rights of people on a daily basis. In just a few years, we've gone downhill on the rights of people to love each other, the right to privacy, ownership, and the list goes on and on.... 31) HAVE YOU EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Oh many. My friend Erin and I were experts in that field, pre caller-id days. 32) WHO IS YOUR CURRENT CRUSH? I always have at least one small crush. I don't name names. 33) WHAT IS YOUR WORST FEAR? Probably that I'm at my peak at this point in life. I want to climb higher but I feel like I'm wasting the time away. 34) HAVE YOU EVER SAID "I LOVE YOU" AND NOT MEANT IT? Probably. But I learned recently that words don't always mean much. 35) WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY? Writing emails, getting the cats fed. 36) IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I would lipo every bit of fat off my body, so that it wouldn't haunt me so much on a daily basis. Then I'd get my teeth totally fixed again. 37) Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought: A turkey panini, two gallons of water, diet coke, and some mesquite turkey 38) Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink: Diet Coke, Iced Tea, Tea, and Coffee. 39) Last Time You Cried? Yesterday. 40) What's In Your Stereo? An mp3 mix cd I made. 41) What's Under Your Bed? A storage system of drawers, mostly empty. 42) What Time Did You Wake Up Today? Three different times - first at about 10, I think. 43) Current Hair? 349 individual strands. It gets thinner every day. 44) Current Clothes? A melange of tired jeans, faded t-shirts, hospital scrubs, boots and my work Skechers. 45) Current Desktop Picture? I call it "BLUE" 46) Current Worry? WAsting away my day off. 47) Current Hate? I try not to hate. But I hate when people say "belly" at work. 48) Favorite Place To Be? At the beach on a hot but breezy day. 49) Least Favorite Place? Anywhere with limited outdoor light and bright fluorescents. And I'd probably hate hell or the north pole. 50) If You Could Play An Instrument? Well I play many, but I'd like to master at least one (piano) and be able to play guitar without effort. 51) How Tall Are You? 5'10" 52) Favorite random quote? Quotes are irritating. Well actually I just can't think of one. 53) One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To? My friend Erin, mentioned above in the prank phone call question. I lost contact with her about 12 years ago and have looked and looked..... 54) Favorite Day(s)? The days in the spring when it's perfect weather to garden. 55) Where Would You Like To Go right NOW? to bed again - but I have a few more questions left. 56) Where do you want to live when you get married? Someplace far away that we agree on and has better weather. 57) Favorite food? Pasta-ish things. 58) Color of most clothes you own? HAH! Grey. 59) Number of pillows you sleep w/? Trois. Plus the kids. 60) What do you wear when you go to sleep? boxers and a tshirt. 61) What were you doing at 12 A.M. last night? Just arriving home from work. 62) What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? That will be decided by fate, and by the personal empowerment that I am going to endow upon myself in the coming months. 63) Are you paranoid? Of many things 64) Do you burn or tan? Burn a little, but I tan. 65) what is the brand of your wallet? It's so worn that I would never be able to tell you. 66) First piercing/tattoo? Left Ear, 1989 67) First enemy? My own mind working against me. 68) Last person you yelled at? My mother. Boy, she really suffers in this one! 69) Last crush? A brief one that involved a beautiful polish blonde in the waiting room of the ED with a wonderfully pleasant way about him, and oh my god, so hot. 70) Last thing you ate? Sugar-free orange gelatin. Scrumptalicious. |
27 December 2006
26 December 2006
Turn the damn lights off. It's over!
Yeah. So another Christmas is over, and the countdown begins for another one. I think this will be the third consecutive year that after the holiday was over, I told myself and others that I was finished celebrating Christmas. Yes, I said it again this year. Because it sucked.
First of all, we'll start with today - the day AFTER Christmas. I had to go to Iron Mountain - to stop at work to pick up my check which was supposed to be there, but wasn't (they screwed up my last two paychecks, and owed me quite a sum.) So I'll get that tomorrow. Fine. So I went to the bank to get some cash for the few things I needed today, and being the progressive anti-Walmart pauper that I am, I went to Walmart. Big mistake. I don't know how many people were in that store - my guess would be at least 12,328. It was recklessness, and of course I was there to add to the blob of consumerism. I suppose half the county probably received a Walmart Shopping Card as part of their gift-cache, so they were there to spend and look for sales. But I didn't see any sales - just crap loaded on top of shit, loaded on top of fecal matter, and the stuff that I needed - necessities like Diet Coke and soy sauce - was all out of kilter and understocked. I don't know how many times I had to turn around because an aisle was packed with evil carts. I don't know how many times I got brushed against or how long I waited in the god-awful line. But I do suggest that Walmart install some sort of interstate - like system in their stores, or at least stop signs and one-way arrows. And I suggest people just don't go there. Including me.
Anyway, yesterday was Christmas, and I worked. The after-hours clinic was closed, so we were operating in strictly Emergency Department mode. When the clinic is open, then all the stuffy noses and rashes go there, and the burden of registering them is taken off of me. But when it's not - well, I just get to work twice as hard. You would think that most people would abstain from going to the Emergency room on a holiday unless it was really an emergency, but not so. We had people with stuffy noses and congestion; people with toothaches (I know toothaches suck - but these people were smiling); children with life-threatening fevers of 101 degrees (the horror); and of course, a few people that actually needed to be there. But anyway, it was just a steady stream all evening long; I didn't get a break except to run down and get dinner, which was free because of the holiday and was supposedly a "special dinner." Well all they had left when I got there was chicken legs and scalloped potatoes. Chicken legs are not my thing. So I choked down the potatoes, along with a vegetable medley with some sort of hybrid yellow carrots. Scrumptious. Of course it took me a half hour to eat, because I had to keep stopping so that I could go register someone. I had one cigarette break at 10pm; by then, I was almost insane from the nic fits. Yes, I need to quit. But not on Christmas. I'm sure Jesus would understand.
Anyway, my "christmas" was on Christmas Eve. For various reasons, I have been at odds with my brother-in-law, who threatened to shoot me a couple weeks back (I won't go into that now). I have expected an apology from him since then, but have gotten none (he also called me a piece of shit, over and over. Fun!) Anyway, I told my sister and my mother that unless there was some sort of apology from him or make-up gesture, I didn't want to be there for Christmas if he was there, because it would just be awkward and I would literally spend the whole time just wanting to get up and punch the shit out of him.
(For what it's worth, my sister and my mother both told Mo that he needed to apologize to me, and that he was an asshole, plain and simple. But the apology never came. Oh woe.)
So I guess it was decided that there would be two celebrations - one with me, and one with him. Mine fell on Christmas Eve because I was off work, and since my sister and I both worked on Christmas Day , albeit different shifts, I figured that Christmas Eve would be our "real Christmas." So I was looking forward to it - I figured we would have the regular turkey dinner after opening our gifts and everything would be merry and precious. Then on Christmas day, my brother-in-law would receive his gifts and that would be the end of it.
Well I guess I was wrong. First off, when I got there on Christmas Eve, I didn't smell the turkey baking (although there was a pecan pie) but I didn't even think much of it. Perhaps my mother had decided to keep it simple this year, I thought, so no turkey. So instead we had some sort of Oriental Salad - which was good. One step over.
Then it was time to unwrap gifts, and what usually happens it that someone hands out the gifts and we open them, sort of taking turns. When I noticed that the only gifts taken from beneath the tree were the ones around my chair, I got suspicious. So I opened my first one, which was a small hand vacuum that was very nice. I said I needed that to clean the cat hair from my new couch. I waited because I figured then it was someone else's turn to open something. But nobody did, and my mother told me to open the next box. So finally I asked the question - why wasn't anyone else opening anything? Well then I got the answer that I knew was coming - -
"Well we're not opening anything until tomorrow - we' re just doing your gifts today."
So from that moment on, I just felt weird and on display, and very hot in the face. But I continued to open - I got some nice things - and that was it. Christmas for me was over I guess - except that there was the pecan pie - which is my favorite - and apparently I was supposed to eat a piece and then they were going to save the rest for the next day. I choked it down.
So my suspicions were raised then - I wondered, hmm......are they going to have a big traditional Christmas dinner tomorrow, while I'm at work eating old potatoes and hybrid carrots? I went and looked in the fridge, pretending to be looking for something to drink. And there it was - a big ham - thawed and ready to be cooked on "the big day." So then I asked my mother - "so are you making a big dinner tomorrow then?" and she just kind of smugly nodded.
So I took my gifts, put them in the car, sat around for a while, played with the nephew, who was all over me. Then my sister had to go to work. So then I left too, because I really just felt like the party was over and I was supposed to leave too, I guess.
Anyway, I had a big 'fight' on the phone with my mother over the whole ordeal; how Christmas for me wasn't about the presents at all; how I hadn't asked for nor expected much, but had looked forward to the usual Christmas. She just didn't seem to understand. And I still don't understand either. But my point was this - my brother-in-law is a big, pompous, loud jerk. And he's a muslim - who has been in this country for six years - so to him, Christmas is just something new and kinda fun. My mother says she just tolerates him because she watches the kids and has to deal with him when he comes to pick them up after work, etc. My sister bitches about him every day, and would leave him in a heartbeat if she could afford it. At least, that's what she says every other day. So why did he get the REAL christmas - while I just got the "make-up day Christmas" on the day before? It may sound like jealousy, and it probably is. Boo hoo for me. The only reason I got was that they figured Mo would want to watch the kids open presents.
Anyway, yesterday (on Christmas day) my mother called once in the morning and I was still half-asleep, so it was a short call and I figured she would call later. She never did. All I could think of all day was my whole family together having a big dinner, opening gifts, and having their little "merriment" while I was dealing with rashes, fevers, a broken copy machine, and crabby doctors. So it sucked. And maybe I'm just a big, 30-something baby who should just get over himself. Tell me if I'm wrong.
But then there is another kicker to the story. The gifts I got from my mother (who likes to spend more money than anyone else, and my dad doesn't buy anybody anything, except my mother usually) included the following:
The vacuum
a fleece blanket
A radar detector for my car
A wind-up flashlight
and a few other nice things. Today I found out that my brother-in-law got the following gifts:
A vacuum
A fleece blanket
A radar detector for his car
A wind-up flashlight.
and of course, a few other things, probably nice ones.
Wow, do I feel special. And I feel like a slight asshole for being so selfish. But today was my day off, and I just felt like wallowing myself in some self-pity for the moment, I guess. And I am over it now, because the day is past and as soon as the New Year begins, then things only look up, because I know that I won't have to think about it again for almost a year.
And like I said, this year I have said it again - no more Christmas. Sure, I'll take the holiday hours at work, and maybe eat some peanut brittle. And I'll probably just end up doing Christmas like usual again, and something will go wrong. Ah well. Time to just blank it out.
I apologize to anyone who made it through this whole self-pitying essay, and promise to me a little more upbeat next time. And I hope that everyone's Christmas was at least a little better than mine, because I know there could be far worse than what I had, and I don't wish that on anyone. Even muslims, unless they threaten to shoot me.
First of all, we'll start with today - the day AFTER Christmas. I had to go to Iron Mountain - to stop at work to pick up my check which was supposed to be there, but wasn't (they screwed up my last two paychecks, and owed me quite a sum.) So I'll get that tomorrow. Fine. So I went to the bank to get some cash for the few things I needed today, and being the progressive anti-Walmart pauper that I am, I went to Walmart. Big mistake. I don't know how many people were in that store - my guess would be at least 12,328. It was recklessness, and of course I was there to add to the blob of consumerism. I suppose half the county probably received a Walmart Shopping Card as part of their gift-cache, so they were there to spend and look for sales. But I didn't see any sales - just crap loaded on top of shit, loaded on top of fecal matter, and the stuff that I needed - necessities like Diet Coke and soy sauce - was all out of kilter and understocked. I don't know how many times I had to turn around because an aisle was packed with evil carts. I don't know how many times I got brushed against or how long I waited in the god-awful line. But I do suggest that Walmart install some sort of interstate - like system in their stores, or at least stop signs and one-way arrows. And I suggest people just don't go there. Including me.
Anyway, yesterday was Christmas, and I worked. The after-hours clinic was closed, so we were operating in strictly Emergency Department mode. When the clinic is open, then all the stuffy noses and rashes go there, and the burden of registering them is taken off of me. But when it's not - well, I just get to work twice as hard. You would think that most people would abstain from going to the Emergency room on a holiday unless it was really an emergency, but not so. We had people with stuffy noses and congestion; people with toothaches (I know toothaches suck - but these people were smiling); children with life-threatening fevers of 101 degrees (the horror); and of course, a few people that actually needed to be there. But anyway, it was just a steady stream all evening long; I didn't get a break except to run down and get dinner, which was free because of the holiday and was supposedly a "special dinner." Well all they had left when I got there was chicken legs and scalloped potatoes. Chicken legs are not my thing. So I choked down the potatoes, along with a vegetable medley with some sort of hybrid yellow carrots. Scrumptious. Of course it took me a half hour to eat, because I had to keep stopping so that I could go register someone. I had one cigarette break at 10pm; by then, I was almost insane from the nic fits. Yes, I need to quit. But not on Christmas. I'm sure Jesus would understand.
Anyway, my "christmas" was on Christmas Eve. For various reasons, I have been at odds with my brother-in-law, who threatened to shoot me a couple weeks back (I won't go into that now). I have expected an apology from him since then, but have gotten none (he also called me a piece of shit, over and over. Fun!) Anyway, I told my sister and my mother that unless there was some sort of apology from him or make-up gesture, I didn't want to be there for Christmas if he was there, because it would just be awkward and I would literally spend the whole time just wanting to get up and punch the shit out of him.
(For what it's worth, my sister and my mother both told Mo that he needed to apologize to me, and that he was an asshole, plain and simple. But the apology never came. Oh woe.)
So I guess it was decided that there would be two celebrations - one with me, and one with him. Mine fell on Christmas Eve because I was off work, and since my sister and I both worked on Christmas Day , albeit different shifts, I figured that Christmas Eve would be our "real Christmas." So I was looking forward to it - I figured we would have the regular turkey dinner after opening our gifts and everything would be merry and precious. Then on Christmas day, my brother-in-law would receive his gifts and that would be the end of it.
Well I guess I was wrong. First off, when I got there on Christmas Eve, I didn't smell the turkey baking (although there was a pecan pie) but I didn't even think much of it. Perhaps my mother had decided to keep it simple this year, I thought, so no turkey. So instead we had some sort of Oriental Salad - which was good. One step over.
Then it was time to unwrap gifts, and what usually happens it that someone hands out the gifts and we open them, sort of taking turns. When I noticed that the only gifts taken from beneath the tree were the ones around my chair, I got suspicious. So I opened my first one, which was a small hand vacuum that was very nice. I said I needed that to clean the cat hair from my new couch. I waited because I figured then it was someone else's turn to open something. But nobody did, and my mother told me to open the next box. So finally I asked the question - why wasn't anyone else opening anything? Well then I got the answer that I knew was coming - -
"Well we're not opening anything until tomorrow - we' re just doing your gifts today."
So from that moment on, I just felt weird and on display, and very hot in the face. But I continued to open - I got some nice things - and that was it. Christmas for me was over I guess - except that there was the pecan pie - which is my favorite - and apparently I was supposed to eat a piece and then they were going to save the rest for the next day. I choked it down.
So my suspicions were raised then - I wondered, hmm......are they going to have a big traditional Christmas dinner tomorrow, while I'm at work eating old potatoes and hybrid carrots? I went and looked in the fridge, pretending to be looking for something to drink. And there it was - a big ham - thawed and ready to be cooked on "the big day." So then I asked my mother - "so are you making a big dinner tomorrow then?" and she just kind of smugly nodded.
So I took my gifts, put them in the car, sat around for a while, played with the nephew, who was all over me. Then my sister had to go to work. So then I left too, because I really just felt like the party was over and I was supposed to leave too, I guess.
Anyway, I had a big 'fight' on the phone with my mother over the whole ordeal; how Christmas for me wasn't about the presents at all; how I hadn't asked for nor expected much, but had looked forward to the usual Christmas. She just didn't seem to understand. And I still don't understand either. But my point was this - my brother-in-law is a big, pompous, loud jerk. And he's a muslim - who has been in this country for six years - so to him, Christmas is just something new and kinda fun. My mother says she just tolerates him because she watches the kids and has to deal with him when he comes to pick them up after work, etc. My sister bitches about him every day, and would leave him in a heartbeat if she could afford it. At least, that's what she says every other day. So why did he get the REAL christmas - while I just got the "make-up day Christmas" on the day before? It may sound like jealousy, and it probably is. Boo hoo for me. The only reason I got was that they figured Mo would want to watch the kids open presents.
Anyway, yesterday (on Christmas day) my mother called once in the morning and I was still half-asleep, so it was a short call and I figured she would call later. She never did. All I could think of all day was my whole family together having a big dinner, opening gifts, and having their little "merriment" while I was dealing with rashes, fevers, a broken copy machine, and crabby doctors. So it sucked. And maybe I'm just a big, 30-something baby who should just get over himself. Tell me if I'm wrong.
But then there is another kicker to the story. The gifts I got from my mother (who likes to spend more money than anyone else, and my dad doesn't buy anybody anything, except my mother usually) included the following:
The vacuum
a fleece blanket
A radar detector for my car
A wind-up flashlight
and a few other nice things. Today I found out that my brother-in-law got the following gifts:
A vacuum
A fleece blanket
A radar detector for his car
A wind-up flashlight.
and of course, a few other things, probably nice ones.
Wow, do I feel special. And I feel like a slight asshole for being so selfish. But today was my day off, and I just felt like wallowing myself in some self-pity for the moment, I guess. And I am over it now, because the day is past and as soon as the New Year begins, then things only look up, because I know that I won't have to think about it again for almost a year.
And like I said, this year I have said it again - no more Christmas. Sure, I'll take the holiday hours at work, and maybe eat some peanut brittle. And I'll probably just end up doing Christmas like usual again, and something will go wrong. Ah well. Time to just blank it out.
I apologize to anyone who made it through this whole self-pitying essay, and promise to me a little more upbeat next time. And I hope that everyone's Christmas was at least a little better than mine, because I know there could be far worse than what I had, and I don't wish that on anyone. Even muslims, unless they threaten to shoot me.
23 December 2006
Let's check out some Fox News Headlines
I just love Fox News. Why? Because I hate it so much. Translation - if someone says something about Fox News, then I have something to rant about, which I love to do. I spent the summer working midnights in a small group home, spending most nights alongside a small woman with pre-emphysema who loved Fox News (we worked in pairs.) So I spent many an hour trying to ignore Bill O'Reilley, Sean Hannity, and Greta Van Frankensusteren droning on in the background between the "Fair and Balanced" jingles and commercials for Head-On.
Those Foxhounds - they are hard to ignore. And I have left that job, and seldom even turn on my tv, but it's still almost impossible to escape those hooligans, because it's the most popular news channel in the US. There are two tvs in the Emergency Department waiting room (I call it the "Prison Commons") that are fixed so that they can't be turned to a high volume. But if someone turns on Fox News, I can hear it even if I'm totally consumed in paperwork and inundated with admissions for drunks with broken legs.
Anyway, I won't comment any further, because I just tend to blather. Well, yes I will So let's peruse today's pre-Christmas Fox News Online Headlines, and see how much "cheer" they have to spread, shall we?
Well just now, I had to wait while the Fox News website totally overwhelmed my computer and froze it up for a good five minutes. HOLY CRAP - MAYBE IT'S A TERRORIST PLOT AGAINST ME.
Schwarzenegger Breaks Leg in Skiing Mishap
I bet he threatens to break a lot of other people's legs, too. He'll be back. I'm surprised Maria Shriver-Schwarzenegger doesn't break her legs just by walking across a room - she is the skinniest sack of osteo-porosal bones I've ever seen. Frightening, simply frightening.
Protester Sets Self Afire Over School Holidays
"What? My kids can't sing "Away in a Manger" in the pagent this year? Billy Joe, hand me that bic lighter and my bottle of bourbon. I's gonna make a statement." Note - I didn't even read this article, so I have no idea whether I'm totally getting backwards or whatever, but I just can't imagine too many atheists setting themselves on fire, because they don't believe in an afterlife, so they would never get to find out what good they did by setting themself on fire in the first place. Does that make sense? I don't know.........what?
So, who's really more charitable, Donald Trump or Rosie O'Donnell?
Another Rosie O'Donnell mention. If a democratic/liberal/lesbian/overweight/loud/female type makes any kind of statement, the news must make sure to follow every step they make, in case they do or say something bad, and Rosie is now the liberal loose-lip of choice. In this case, it turned out that Rosie is more charitable, and that Trump mostly just hands over money to generic organizations like the United Way. I don't know what The United Way does. I am going to look into them. Because if Donald Trump is giving them lots of money.....hmmmmm...........
OH MY GOD! Is this true? I'm not going to even read into it for fear that I will lose it.....
Justin Timberlake set to make moves in music, fashion and film
I'm surprised this isn't followed by an article entitled "Doogie Howser and Lance Bass set to open abortion clinic for French Lesbians." I bet Justin Timberlake is a republican. Britney is.
Now there's a face that is not swoon-worthy at all. She looked better before the million-dollar makeover. She's a lesbian, and we all know it. The made-up word "GRETAWIRE" reminds me of some new hybrid electric barbed wire to put around dog kennels, so that Diddy won't take your dog. Quick change of subject -
Condoleezza Rice Says America is Ready for a Black President
Well it sure is. But do you really think black people will vote for her? She's the whitest black woman I've ever seen, and she doesn't have a nice booty. So shoot me for being horrible. But if she runs for president and all the sudden takes on an ebonics-enhanced accent, I will jump in Mt. St.. Helens.
And half of Americans believe that the earth is 6000 years old. Well not half, but like a third. And the other half probably doesn't know what the word "semitic" means. But that Passion movie was just so moving........even though it was gorier than all of the "Scream" movies put together......
To be honest, the more I read this Fox website, the more I notice that they are attempting to take a chance with their viewers by noticing the recent election results, and reporting some bad things about the right. Which just shows that the news in this country, and probably everywhere, is driven by what the people want to hear. And like it or not, people want to hear about Justin Timberlake enough that he made it onto the front page of the news. So as long as the news entertains, then it satisfies the masses.
I would hate for people to think I am just a big liberal asshole or something, because really I'm not that liberal. I just get disgusted by mediocre news, and I want to hear some good news about really good things, not just made-up good news about bad things, like Iraq or Israel or Justin Timberlake, who I think is probably evil, although he's pretty hot. Except when he talks.
And although I despise the political Christian Right, I don't despise Christians at all. There's a nurse where I work, Amanda, who happens to be very hard-core into her faith; and she handed out loaves of banana bread tonight with a "Gospel of John" strapped to them with ribbon. You would never know that she was from Northland Bible College, except for the fact that she's really pretty, and for some reason, all the girls from Northland are pretty and the guys are hot. Weird. Anyway - She enclosed a note that said that she wanted to find copies of this gospel that didn't have all these side-notes about Christian living etc., but couldn't find them (It's a mini book with the full text of the fourth book of the new testament, with all these notes thrown in for how to live a "christian' life.). So she said to just concentrate on the text itself, and skip the opinions of the editor. Which I thought was kind of cool, because at least she is saying, in some little way, that we should interpret what we read in our own way, and not the way we are told is the "right" way to interpret it. If there were only a way to get our news without the hidden "opinions of the editor."
Ok, enough - the Fox News tab keeps refreshing itself, which in turn locks up my computer for a few seconds, which in turn makes me frustrated, which in turn makes me want to stop ranting for now. I think I'll go cuddle with Eddie, who wears cruelty-free dog fur.
Have a great holiday all -
Doug
Those Foxhounds - they are hard to ignore. And I have left that job, and seldom even turn on my tv, but it's still almost impossible to escape those hooligans, because it's the most popular news channel in the US. There are two tvs in the Emergency Department waiting room (I call it the "Prison Commons") that are fixed so that they can't be turned to a high volume. But if someone turns on Fox News, I can hear it even if I'm totally consumed in paperwork and inundated with admissions for drunks with broken legs.
Anyway, I won't comment any further, because I just tend to blather. Well, yes I will So let's peruse today's pre-Christmas Fox News Online Headlines, and see how much "cheer" they have to spread, shall we?
Well just now, I had to wait while the Fox News website totally overwhelmed my computer and froze it up for a good five minutes. HOLY CRAP - MAYBE IT'S A TERRORIST PLOT AGAINST ME.
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Christmas Terror Plot
Report: CIA tips off Brits to Channel Tunnel threat
Tunnel beneath English Channel that connects Britain to France is holiday terror target of Islamic terrorists, Observer reports
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Bush Considers $10 Billion 'New Deal' to Accompany Troop Surge in Iraq
Rebuilding component to new Iraq strategy would create jobs to draw unemployed Iraqis away from insurgency
- I hate bullets, and don't know how to format, use them, or get rid of them. But anyway, notice the headline above and its brief opening statement doesn't include any lines like "according to sources" or "according to the Bush Administration." It is just stated as a fact. Like "Lysol Kills Germs." This is typical of how Fox reports in a "fair and balanced" manner - they just leave out anything that would throw their 'fair' opinion off balance.
Israel's $100M Peace Bid
Ehud Olmert meets Palestinian president, agrees to release $100 million in frozen funds and ease travel restrictions
Anything to make Israel look good. Because we must support Israel in every way possible, for some reason I have yet to understand. We must always remember to forget that there are two sides to every story. I am not anti-semitic in any way, but there's something fucked up about Israel and our relationship with it, and Saudi Arabia and our relationship with it, etc. It's a double-entendre, or an oxymoron, or a doppleganger, or something in that realm of opposite fancy-words - let's put it that way. But apparently Fox News and Bush do understand.Schwarzenegger Breaks Leg in Skiing Mishap
I bet he threatens to break a lot of other people's legs, too. He'll be back. I'm surprised Maria Shriver-Schwarzenegger doesn't break her legs just by walking across a room - she is the skinniest sack of osteo-porosal bones I've ever seen. Frightening, simply frightening.
Top Video
Real Free Speech
Drop the pretense, Hillary; Obama, keep your enemies close
"What? My kids can't sing "Away in a Manger" in the pagent this year? Billy Joe, hand me that bic lighter and my bottle of bourbon. I's gonna make a statement." Note - I didn't even read this article, so I have no idea whether I'm totally getting backwards or whatever, but I just can't imagine too many atheists setting themselves on fire, because they don't believe in an afterlife, so they would never get to find out what good they did by setting themself on fire in the first place. Does that make sense? I don't know.........what?
Rosie Trumps Donald
By Roger FriedmanSo, who's really more charitable, Donald Trump or Rosie O'Donnell?
Another Rosie O'Donnell mention. If a democratic/liberal/lesbian/overweight/loud/female type makes any kind of statement, the news must make sure to follow every step they make, in case they do or say something bad, and Rosie is now the liberal loose-lip of choice. In this case, it turned out that Rosie is more charitable, and that Trump mostly just hands over money to generic organizations like the United Way. I don't know what The United Way does. I am going to look into them. Because if Donald Trump is giving them lots of money.....hmmmmm...........
Dogging Diddy
Macy pulls hip-hop star's line of hooded jackets for containing dog furOH MY GOD! Is this true? I'm not going to even read into it for fear that I will lose it.....
Triple Threat
By Lisa BernhardJustin Timberlake set to make moves in music, fashion and film
I'm surprised this isn't followed by an article entitled "Doogie Howser and Lance Bass set to open abortion clinic for French Lesbians." I bet Justin Timberlake is a republican. Britney is.
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The O'Reilly Factor
Bill O'Reilly's Talking Points
What went right and what went wrong in 2006
- Nothing exciting about this, except why would they use such an unflattering picture of Bill O'Reilley? Or is that the face that makes all those conservative ladies swoon? And why are these bullets haunting me?
GRETAWIRE
Sharon Rocha's book takes you inside the pain caused by the murder of one's childNow there's a face that is not swoon-worthy at all. She looked better before the million-dollar makeover. She's a lesbian, and we all know it. The made-up word "GRETAWIRE" reminds me of some new hybrid electric barbed wire to put around dog kennels, so that Diddy won't take your dog. Quick change of subject -
Condoleezza Rice Says America is Ready for a Black President
Well it sure is. But do you really think black people will vote for her? She's the whitest black woman I've ever seen, and she doesn't have a nice booty. So shoot me for being horrible. But if she runs for president and all the sudden takes on an ebonics-enhanced accent, I will jump in Mt. St.. Helens.
Gibson Still OK
FOX Poll: Despite anti-Semitic rant, almost half of Americans still think Gibson's OKAnd half of Americans believe that the earth is 6000 years old. Well not half, but like a third. And the other half probably doesn't know what the word "semitic" means. But that Passion movie was just so moving........even though it was gorier than all of the "Scream" movies put together......
To be honest, the more I read this Fox website, the more I notice that they are attempting to take a chance with their viewers by noticing the recent election results, and reporting some bad things about the right. Which just shows that the news in this country, and probably everywhere, is driven by what the people want to hear. And like it or not, people want to hear about Justin Timberlake enough that he made it onto the front page of the news. So as long as the news entertains, then it satisfies the masses.
I would hate for people to think I am just a big liberal asshole or something, because really I'm not that liberal. I just get disgusted by mediocre news, and I want to hear some good news about really good things, not just made-up good news about bad things, like Iraq or Israel or Justin Timberlake, who I think is probably evil, although he's pretty hot. Except when he talks.
And although I despise the political Christian Right, I don't despise Christians at all. There's a nurse where I work, Amanda, who happens to be very hard-core into her faith; and she handed out loaves of banana bread tonight with a "Gospel of John" strapped to them with ribbon. You would never know that she was from Northland Bible College, except for the fact that she's really pretty, and for some reason, all the girls from Northland are pretty and the guys are hot. Weird. Anyway - She enclosed a note that said that she wanted to find copies of this gospel that didn't have all these side-notes about Christian living etc., but couldn't find them (It's a mini book with the full text of the fourth book of the new testament, with all these notes thrown in for how to live a "christian' life.). So she said to just concentrate on the text itself, and skip the opinions of the editor. Which I thought was kind of cool, because at least she is saying, in some little way, that we should interpret what we read in our own way, and not the way we are told is the "right" way to interpret it. If there were only a way to get our news without the hidden "opinions of the editor."
Ok, enough - the Fox News tab keeps refreshing itself, which in turn locks up my computer for a few seconds, which in turn makes me frustrated, which in turn makes me want to stop ranting for now. I think I'll go cuddle with Eddie, who wears cruelty-free dog fur.
Have a great holiday all -
Doug
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