Dreary

As much as I should just accept winter as a reality of living up here, I always dread it. This year, we have had an early, rude welcome to it; the last three days have been miserably cold, windy, and SNOWY. We aren't even halfway through October and I have about an inch of snow on my back porch. Saturday is supposed to be in the low 40s but still snowy/rainy, and Sunday should be nice - 50 and sunny.

The first night that it was cold - I believe on wednesday - the temperature was about 25. I got home at 6:30am and could see right away that my house is extremely DRAFTY - probably from the settling (a nice way of saying my house is crooked.) I did a quick inspection to figure out where all the cold air was coming in, and found that all around the baseboards, there is a draft. I did a temporary "fix" by taking dirty clothes and piling them along the base of the walls, so that my bedroom wasn't refrigerator-like. My front door has a crack all the way around - sun pouring in - and I stuffed that with plastic bags. Anyway, later in the day, after some much-needed sleep - I went to Home Depot and purchased some insulation foam tape and went around the baseboards, and I still have a lot of work to do in the area of insulating.

Anyway, all these weather problems have hindered my house renovations. Apart from the fact that it has been too cold and wet to paint, it has also been cold, ugly, and windy, which just makes the thought of working outside unbearable. Thursday I was going to continue sealing around the base of the house, and put the siding on the front of my "playhouse" (my little outbuilding, which I have yet to find the right name for), but once I started a project, it either didn't work out because of the cold, or else I myself was about to freeze. Early in the season, I always feel like a wuss because it takes me some time to adapt to the cold. Come February, a day where the high hits 30 degrees will feel balmy. Right now, it feels like death.

All this is complicated by the fact that I was offered, and accepted, a new job which starts next wednesday. It is at the hospital - a full-time position as a Patient Access Representative (registration) in the Emergency Department. It is a 3-11pm job, which fits my lifestyle pretty well. The job pays well - about 2 dollars an hour more than my present job to start - and it comes with every benefit you can think of, because it's union. I get free health insurance, 2 weeks of paid time off my first year, inconvenience pay for all sorts of things, and I will be generally much better off financially.

Anyway, I am happy about this, and I am also extremely unhappy. I love my current job. It's my favorite job ever. But there is a problem - I am only part-time. And not only just part-time, but "special part-time", which just means that I am part time but without any benefits. I do still get a yearly bonus (this year I got 420 bucks, whereas the full time people got as much as $5000) but that's the only benefit. And it always has seemed that it would be a long time in the waiting to get a full-time job there. And like the hospital, the benefits of full-time at Northpointe (my current workplace) are pretty good - not quite as good as the hospital's - but good.

The day after I put in my 2-week notice, a new job was posted for the house I work at - full-time. It was a new position created because I was leaving, and I guess my boss was given permission to add another full-time staff to our house. I didn't know what to think at first, but I did end up applying for it. I am not first in line for that job, but I do have some merit above some of the people above me, and it's not IMPOSSIBLE that this position could be offered to me. The decision will be made on the 16th, which is the day before my last day there.

ARGGHHHH!!!! I really want to stay put at Northpointe, and I'm in a quandry. Several people have said they would put in a good word for me to stay and get the new position. I mentioned to my sister that there was this new opening - she said she would be embarassed if i backed out of the hospital job. My mother just got mad. So my happiness is less important than their embarassment and me making lots of money. Ho hum.

Anyway, all of this is just preliminary - I went and had all my testing (drug and blood) today and did my paperwork, so I am all set to start working this next wednesday. And if I should happen to get offered the job at Northpointe, I don't know what I'll do. I am established there - been there for 3 years - and most of my friends are at that job. I've had to start over so many fucking times in my life, and I wasn't planning on doing it again. But so it happens, and so I go nuts. Come wednesday, my future is going to change, and I'm not prepared for it.