Buying A House With A Credit Card

Well, I am now living in my new house, which has been an adventure. If any of you ever decide to buy a cheap house, you should keep in mind one thing - there is a reason it is cheap! Here are some of the delightful things I have dealt with so far....

First project - fixing the plumbing. I installed a new pump on the well, which took 2 days because there were two pipes coming up out of the crawlspace (which is about 1 1/2 feet in height - lovely for crawling). Since it is a "shallow well", there should only be one pipe, but there are two, which means that it isn't so shallow, or that there are two wells. There is no evidence of a well outside - just two pipes coming in from the crawlspace. Anyway, I finally got it working, at about 200 bucks, which was much cheaper than a plumber.

After that, there were other things to deal with. The kitchen faucet leaked, so i replaced that. Of course, I was missing ONE freaking gasket, so it leaked for 2 days until I finally bought one today. So now I can leave the pump running without slowly flooding the kitchen. Then there was the incident when I decided to move *by myself my washer into its spot in the bathroom, and in doing so, I hit a loose wall, which broke a pipe. So I had water gushing forth in my bathroom. I turned off the pump, fixed the pipe, and got the washer moved. So I went to do my first load, and there was water gushing from the washer! Apparently in moving it, I cracked the drain hose, so I temporarily fixed it with electrical tape and will be buying a new one tonight. Lovely.

Probably the most interesting thing about this house, which I knew when I bought it, is that it is CROOKED. It leans to one corner, and there are a couple spots where the pilings underneath are pushing up on the floor, so there are some hills and valleys in my floor. If you ever have to deal with a foundation expert, remember one thing - they are hard to get a hold of, and once you have reached them, then they don't like to show up. I finally have a guy coming tomorrow, so it will be interesting to hear what he says. I mean, I can live with a crooked house, but I would rather have nice straight floors, because it makes me feel a bit drunk at times to walk across the bathroom.

I want to install a pellet stove in here - they are much more efficient and cheaper than a gas furnace (especially an old Montgomery Ward's model). But, my mom (who now lives close) convinced me to use the gas furnace this year, and the gas water heater, so as of today, I have heat and hot water. I have been either taking showers at my mom's or at work, so it will be nice to finally be able to keep myself clean on a daily basis, the way I like to. But, first I have to deal with the bathtub. It is gross. There were so many layers of caulk on it, that it just peeled off like leather, and what was underneath was shocking. I plan to renovate the bathroom next summer, so I'm trying to deal with what I have for now. But somebody brilliantly installed the bathtub with a subwall of particle board behind it. If you know what particle board is, then you know that it isn't very waterproof. So, when I pulled off the caulking, there was this lovely black, soil-like material that kept coming out from behind where the caulk was. It is basically decomposed particle board, and although it doesn't smell, it is scary looking. So tonight, before work, I am heading to Home Depot to get the most heavy-duty caulk and gasket material I can find, so that I can actually take a shower or bath, and although I still will know that the horrible black stuff is behind the wall, at least I will not have it getting on my body.

Other than that - I had to fix the siding on the front of the house, which I think turned out pretty impressive. I had to replicate 100-year-old wood siding, which isn't an exact match, but I think it will look good when it is painted. Just a quick fix until I can afford to re-side the house. I also put in a toilet, and removed decades worth of carpeting. Whoever had put that carpeting in (back in 1978) decided to line the floor underneath with newspapers. So I have a huge stack of newspapers from 1978, which are quite interesting. A lot of National Enquirers in there too. Lots of exposees on Elvis's death, Patty Hearst, etc. Fun reading, but it will have to wait. The floors underneath are all maple, and will be beautiful when they are finished. God knows why they were ever covered, but I remember well that in the 70s, shag carpet was much cooler than cold wood floors.

I have met three neighbors, and they have all been very cool. Especially Pat, the 63-year old who looks like Uncle Jessie. He likes to come over and chat for an hour at a time, and apparently I must be pretty funny, because it is easy to make him laugh, and he has a very boisterous laugh. His house is an exact copy of mine, except he has a basement, and they have been renovated slightly differently over the years. In fact, if you drive down the streets immediately around this area, you can see many houses that are cookie-cutter copies of this house. Sometimes you have to really look at them to tell though, because over the years people have added additions on, changed windows, etc. But they all have the same "Little House on the Prairie" roofline.

Anyway, at least now I have water, heat, and hopefully tomorrow, a decent place to take a shower. Although a shower will probably be the last thing on my mind when I find out how much it will cost to level the house.

Groan. But I'm having a blast with it.

God, I am so SICK of Fox News! I work with a lady who has to have Fox News on 24/7 and so it is in the background whilst I work. Just repulsive.

Bill O'Reilly is my co-worker's favorite, and I believe she has a genuine crush on him. She's about 63 years old, and so he's in her age group, and you have to admit, he's not too bad looking. And I don't always disagree with him. But he is so FUCKING pompous! And he loves to throw around the gay marriage issue like it's candy at a parade. Actually, he believes in civil unions for ALL people, regardless of sexuality, and I support that also. But he loves to have the guests that condemn the lifestyle, defend the family, etc....GRRR

And WAR. And TERROR ALERTS. That's all Fox News cares about, because that's what the specific demographic of Fox watchers want to hear about. Sometimes they jump on a "terror alert" story before it's even happened.......

"This just in.......police in Georgia have arrested a six-year old girl who waved a Snicker's Candy bar at police, who believed it to be a gun. The girl is believed to have middle eastern ties........"

I bought a house! I'm sure everyone who would read my blog has already found that out. It's in Hermansville, and it's in a nice neighborhood, and it has a beautiful large lot with majestic old trees and lilac bushes, and it cost $8500.00, no kidding. So you are probably thinking - wow, the house itself must be really really bad!

Well it needs some foundation work - the floors on the main floor tend to roll like a farm valley. But the floors are SOLID, and because the house is in Hermansville, all the flooring is beautiful solid maple (IXL factory was there, largest manufacturer of wood flooring at one point, etc. etc.).. But I have always wanted a house with CHARACTER, and this house definitely has it.

I don't think I would ever be happy buying some modular home, or new cookie-cutter house, because they are so plain and new and sterile and uber-nazi. My new house is probably 120 years old, and has some original aspects, as well as many senseless 1970 renovations. But underneath all the problems, there is HISTORY, and you can't beat that. There were men living in that house at one time wearing cravat ties and women in long skirts and corsets, cooking over a wood stove and washing clothes in buckets. And when I'm in the house, I like to gaze and let my mind wander back to those long-gone folks who dwelled in MY house, and it is haunting, and comforting, and, for a lack of a better word at this point, COOL.

Anyway, here's some pictures, in case you haven't seen them yet....

Picturetrail pictures

Celebritay

Do famous celebrities REALLY have their own myspace pages? I'm beginning to wonder.

Here's an example of where my trust begins to wane. Being a "Little House on the Prairie" nutcase-freak, I added the profile of "Nellie Oleson" to my friends list. "How cool is that?" you ask.

Well, I'm beginning to think it's not the real Nellie Oleson of Walnut Grove, Minnesota. I don't even think it's Ms. Alison Arngrim, the actress who played the role. The pseudo-Nellie sends out a gazillion bulletins a day. A couple of the more eloquent ones are "Entertain me! I'm bored!" and "You guys suck!"

I just don't think the real Nellie would have said such things. Sure, she was a bitch - I recognize that, and I actually like that quality about her. But real celebrities don't have to fish for attention like that! It's hurtful, vulgar chattel, and I'm hurt.

Anyway, I'm going to search now for the real Nellie Oleson, if she exists. I think I will recognize the REAL Nellie when I find her page. She will have recipes for bread and pie, as served in her own restaurant, with kudos to Percival for teaching them to her. She might brag a little about the fancy carpets in her mother's house, and her china dolls and how she gets to eat candy all day. Who knows. But when I find her, I WILL know it's her......

(Did I use "kudos" in the right way? I'm still not sure if it's a real word, or just someone's sick way of making fun of the breakfast bar of the 90s.)

Pernicious

I am addicted to Jim Gaffigan right now. He's the comic that speaks in a "little voice" between jokes, as if he is voicing the audience's opinion of his act. His style is very self-deprecating, which I always like in a comedian. He talks of eating a "Hot Pocket" and it's so bad that, afterward, his back hurts. Ooowww!

The Westboro Baptist "Church" was purportedly in town today - to protest, or rather celebrate, the death of a local soldier. If you've never heard of them, you can read all about them here - and this wikipedia entry should have a headline shouting "This is the ACTUAL truth about these people's beliefs," much like the South Park episode about the Scientologists.....anyway, here it is......
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church

I was driving home from work at 6:30 this morning, and I suddenly realized that I was following home the former "dickhead of my life." I doubt that he saw me, and it took me a while to figure out if it was him. Anyway, I had an urge to pass him and flip him off, or just smile, or something, but I didn't. For one thing, he was flying down the highway in a pickup attached to a cattle trailer, doing about 75 mph in a construction zone, so I didn't feel it was worth the risk. And, I have known for several weeks now that I am OVER him, and I didn't feel that it would be of any benefit to myself. Plus, it might have given him pleasure to see me run off the road and die, which could've happened considering his excessive speed. HA - what a fat idiot. There - I'm allowed to say it once.

I went swimming at the beach - by myself - this afternoon. After working all night and feeling weary, sluggish, but NOT tired - the way I always feel when I get home after an all-nighter - I decided it would be refreshing to go for a swim at my favorite local beach. I got there, laid the towel down, and was ready to relax for a bit - and my phone rang. It was work, wanting me to come in for second shift. Since I need every cent I can get, I agreed, but I knew I wouldn't be able to get a nap in if I went home. So i slept on the beach for a half hour, then went for the best swim I've had in a long time! There was not a soul around, and I just played in the waves like I was nine. It was awesome. True, it's more fun to swim with good friends, but there was something so "Castaway" about it, and since I was delirious from lack of sleep, it was reminiscent of a good, mild acid trip. I probably looked like a total psychotic.

But now I'm just downright tired. Good night.

There is nothing worse...

...than being so tired that I cannot sleep. And having a Goo Goo Dolls song stuck in my head.