Celebritay

Do famous celebrities REALLY have their own myspace pages? I'm beginning to wonder.

Here's an example of where my trust begins to wane. Being a "Little House on the Prairie" nutcase-freak, I added the profile of "Nellie Oleson" to my friends list. "How cool is that?" you ask.

Well, I'm beginning to think it's not the real Nellie Oleson of Walnut Grove, Minnesota. I don't even think it's Ms. Alison Arngrim, the actress who played the role. The pseudo-Nellie sends out a gazillion bulletins a day. A couple of the more eloquent ones are "Entertain me! I'm bored!" and "You guys suck!"

I just don't think the real Nellie would have said such things. Sure, she was a bitch - I recognize that, and I actually like that quality about her. But real celebrities don't have to fish for attention like that! It's hurtful, vulgar chattel, and I'm hurt.

Anyway, I'm going to search now for the real Nellie Oleson, if she exists. I think I will recognize the REAL Nellie when I find her page. She will have recipes for bread and pie, as served in her own restaurant, with kudos to Percival for teaching them to her. She might brag a little about the fancy carpets in her mother's house, and her china dolls and how she gets to eat candy all day. Who knows. But when I find her, I WILL know it's her......

(Did I use "kudos" in the right way? I'm still not sure if it's a real word, or just someone's sick way of making fun of the breakfast bar of the 90s.)